Chinese Energetic Medicine by Grace

[Blake]

Hola Dios Mio 's!!!!!

Hello all ... that is, was and ever will be!!! I'm sorry I went all incognito for a while . We have been short staffed at work theeeeennnnn a one two punch of snow storms that stranded 1/2 the workers we do have for a few days!!!!!! It's funny I just two weeks ago sidestepped an opening for a lead position (cuz I didnt want the stress that came with it. It was a hard choice...it might have come with a 6$hr raise on the weekend days ) But for three days last week I got to be the boss anyway...(for two days- for only half the day- I was the only one here to clean the whole hospital!!!) It was kinda fun but I think it confirmed that I made the right descision....for the time being anyway....I have more important areas to focus my energies right now!!! My 'dogs' were tiiiuuurrrd at the end of those days. As well as the gray matter in my upper regions! . Anyway...I am manifesting other more lucrative joyful, energy filled, peaceful avenues for abundance and wealth to come to me!!!

So... I've popped in to read most days but havent responded yet...sorry...and my lunch is over now so Ill have to post again later...if not today then hopefully tomarrow.... Thanks all for what you've said !.... I cant wait to respond ! Theres some cool insights that have popped up that soooo fit with a bunch of what were talking about!!!!!

All My Relations!!!! Blake

[Adrienne]

hello Grace

Hi honey
could you please do some corrections for me on my sense of smell, and my creativity... when it is good for you...
thank you so much... you are such an inspiration....
we all are actually... just being here.
It's in the growth... Baby... thanks for all that you give..

Goddess Adriana

[KimJ]

Adrienne

Or Adriana... Just want to say a quick thank you for your support and your own sharing. I'm thrilled for you that you're allowing your creativity to come forth, as well as feeling again! How fantastic! I can so relate to that (or rather not feeling so your progress is inspiring!), not to mention holding the seams together!

Anyway, I've got to fly but just wanted to thank you for insights you share in respect to my journey, as well as your own journey which I guess is mine too if I can keep my brain wrapped around that concept! LOL Such a blessing this forum is!

Love and light!
Kim

[Adrienne]

Zartgirl

that is very cool... glad it is working out well for you...
that is very exciting news...
what a gift... what a powerful creator you are.. Adrienne

[Adrienne]

bobi

It's all good, i even misspell my name sometimes... it's so darn long...
and plus Adriana... isn't even my name... so i even do it on purpose
have a fabulouse day.. Adrienne

[Adrienne]

hello...

Seems to be a theme that people share there progress too...LOL(at me)...
so here is what i have noticed with myself...
well since a bit before my post and ever since.. I have so wanted to express myself... it has come up in wanting cook... (have been blocked there too)... but the last couple of weeks i have found that i have put love and joy into my cooking... Oh get this I am inspired to create with food, I am thrilled about this... this weekend.. perhaps during the week I am gonna make indian butter chicken...
(this is new and darn good when i have had it)... I may wait though till my dad comes into town so i can make it for him... but we will see if i can hold the seams together that long...
the folds on the box just want to break
and i am gonna make a german dish i haven't made in a while... first off the fact that the thought came to me is amazing...
this may not seem huge, but it is big for me...
cuz it is the feeling i have inside me that makes it so amazing and wonderful and exciting... JOY AND LOVE
I am also putting it out there to find some cooking classes in my area too.

I ran into a guy i went to high school with today in my store... and i noticed the instant reaction of being closed... and then the aware part of me saying"adrienne, what are you afraid of that he will see... and then relaxed"
so some of that wanting to hide myself too
well...DUH, people see me anyways.... So little by little i will let the light shine.. or maybe it will be very quick..
I am so grateful to feel again... like rays of light bursting through...
this is Bliss...
Goddess Adriana

[Bobi]

Hey everyone! Just a quick update! I am doing fantastic! I started my new job and it is going well, and in the training class I am in, is a gal I used to go to church with and wanted to be friends with, but... Well now we are working together (turns out Keith gave her the creeps LOL). We are going to start going out together and doing stuff together! I have been intending for Friends! Everyone in the group is great!

I will be getting my tax check either tomorrow, or next week, and my housing voucher will be on next Tuesday! Tomorrow before work I am going to make some calls on some houses! I am hoping to move by the 15th of this month. Soooo exciting!!!!

Well I just wanted to check in with all of you and say HI and let you know how exciting my life has gotten these last few days!

Blessings Sallyjane

Woohoo! You go, girl!

[marnyka]

To Zartgirl

You moving with lightning speed I think it's great.

[zartgirl]

Update!

Hey everyone! Just a quick update! I am doing fantastic! I started my new job and it is going well, and in the training class I am in, is a gal I used to go to church with and wanted to be friends with, but... Well now we are working together (turns out Keith gave her the creeps LOL). We are going to start going out together and doing stuff together! I have been intending for Friends! Everyone in the group is great!

I will be getting my tax check either tomorrow, or next week, and my housing voucher will be on next Tuesday! Tomorrow before work I am going to make some calls on some houses! I am hoping to move by the 15th of this month. Soooo exciting!!!!

Well I just wanted to check in with all of you and say HI and let you know how exciting my life has gotten these last few days!

Blessings Sallyjane

[Bobi]

Adrienne - apologies for mis spelling your name!

Bobi

[Bobi]

Adrianne and Blake - thanks for the kind words about my mom. Yes, she is a dear. This Saturday she went to have blood drawn and there was a barber shop quartet there. One called her by name then told the crowd how much she helped her 4th grade reading partner when the little girl's mother died last year. Then he sang "You are so beautiful" to her. Makes me cry again.
I really don't intend to go on ad naseum about mom but it has been a great gift for me to have written what I have here. That preciousness is playing out in so manys within me and when hanging with my mom lately. Thanks to you all.

Adrianne, you are courageous and wonderful for sharing the way you did. Blake - same with you and all others on this thread. It isn't easy to spill our guts and trust others to not only not tromp on them but to hold them dear. I heard long ago a wonderful phrase - "we are as stuck as the secrets we carry" . I believe there is much un-stuck-ness going on here. Powerful stuff.

[Adrienne]

to my last post..... My point is that my creativity has been blocked for a while and these are the ways it has affected my life.... and it is not working for me anymore... but in this craziness i am experiencing.... is probaly cuz it is shifting...Grrrrrrrrrrr... still feel kind of silly about my post... but am gonna leave it...
Thanks...Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Blake

Thanks for YOur broader perspective. I do so get caught up in right/wrong...where as "is it useful for me" is soo much more...useful. That whole duality thing and being mezmerized by the outside rather than looking inside....thanks. as much as I feign labels and boxes I do seen to keep taking myself out of one and putting my self in another...maybe bigger but a box just the same. I never have been a "joiner" I think for the "box" reason but tht dosent mean I escape them. I do think your right..i mean useful...about the 12 step groups being so boxy. Hello my name is___and I'm a _____...? I think its been a saving grace for me at times though to just be there and speak and be supported.... Maybe there are other ways to be in community and other circles to share so honestly in like that... I feel like thats a basic human need, to be heard by the tribe... I think forums like this are a part of meeting that need.

Have you met/heard of Gloria Bennish? She wrote a book called "Go within or Go without." ...funny you should say that. Shes a healer/teacher, funny gal extrordinaire...

thanks for your love and support and wisdom

and Blake

Hi blake... well thanks for responding..
no i haven't read that book... i will add it to my list and see if it pops up again for me... thank you...
I have read all of your posts and you are truly amazing.... it is so wonderful that you have come here to share your male energy with us... and i love what you said "we are neither male or female... but spirit..." that is beautiful
I am not quoting your exact words... but what you said there really is a beautiful way of looking at things... takes away the judgement of what either lables of gender does as well....
I don't get the feeling that you are very hard on your self about your sexual orientation... you seem to be very comfortable in having shared that here...
And i beleive it was you who mentioned the artists way.... and then i became aware of how it popped up in many posts since...
I have this book. but have never read it....
Since you started sharing...... i have gained so much from what you have shared from the sexual anorexia... to the addiction, to so many tid bits that you have dropped here and there....
and in mentioning the Artists way....
well here is my story... (well this part)
first off.. I can't beleive i am gonna share all of this. second i have been so inspired and amazed at seeing myself spread across this thread... through others...
Third... it is twisting me to hold it in.. so here it goes...
i have been of the creative nature... but never actively creative... in like art or expressing it in some creative way... although i desired to, i was closed.
i was in an amazing sexual relationship Unfortunaly yrs ago.. and for the first time i had been inspired to paint, or to express my self creatively...(i do want to mention that this is the first time i had opened up in this way too) so i went about doing this.. mostly in painting.... however that relationship ended and i was hurt really badly.. so i shut myself off I am not blamig him... just notice that the inspiration stopped and about a yr after ths relationship ended and on and off i have really struggled in being able to express myself physically, creatively (same thing) the desire to do so was there and the urning also... but i had lost that part of me that had inspiration.... or could even connect to that peice of me...
so in saying this... I have been single for a long time... and have deprived myself of loving relationships with people and having a partner, or sex...(which i'd want to share with a partner) in experiencing joy and pleasure... as well as not participating in events and having fun... and don't get me wrong, it is not that i didn't want to... I simply didn't know how.... and the interesting thing is that i have also lost my sense of smell mostly.. which I had a reiki master tell me it is conected to our creativity....
some questions that have come up for me are...
How do experience joy in my life and fun? ... i have also been very isolated from the world.... keep to myself very much so... the fears and craziness that comes up in even imagining leting someone close to me... especially a man(which happens to terrify me)
and to allow unconditonal love... actually to allow all that what i have been drivin towards...raising conscousness/spiritual growth... whatever one wants to term it... well it seems to be coming to a head...
i have to open up... in order to allow...
In order to create the experiences and the life i desire... well i have to open these parts of me that are closed...
Which over time have jumped at me in ways of being creative in the things i do (which would bring me joy...)
this i am finding is a huge block for me...
sexuality... I would be loving myself and loving others in allowing myself to experience this great gift of life...(and i am sure there is much in this i don't get yet)
God this is like embarrasing sharing this... but if i am gonna have different experiences/create different experiences... then i need to open up..... so that i can create differently.... so i can create more of what i desire
And when i say create... well first off it seems to be the part of me that in not allowing my self to experience that part of me... i am creating so much pain and suffering for myself...
Creation=life=love=joy
I found at one point i had fallen in love with my friend and in allowing myself to be "in love"... i finally allowed myself to stop being in so much pain and suffering.... anyways.. in here there is much attachement to something... my old identity
which has been very difficult for me to let go of.... cuz i really beleived all this stuff was so freakin real.
Grrrrrrrrr... i am not going to edit this... although i am not sure i even follow what I have shared....
sorry blake... this post was meant to be for you and turned out to be about me sharing with everyone
I see so much Growth happening for everyone who shares openly and honestly.... That i guess it is my turn to share openly and honestly too..
and i suppose this is a sign of my willingness...
well enjoy or not... have agreat day
LOVE Adrienne

[Adrienne]

wow..

Thank you for your thoughts and ideas. Yes, some people age early while others are ageless. Hope to be in the latter group myself.

I'm thinking maybe the need is to help mom find clear certainty that continued service down the road will still happen when she can’t drive or if her eyesight goes will be possible. (Well, that and helping her care for herself and home as long as possible.) There is something I can’t quite put my finger on -a sense of mission maybe –that would act as template for life along the way. And yet, these are already her gifts – now, every day. Oh crap – I’m at a loss for words. What is the *zing* I felt and how do I respond to it?

When I say it’s hard to keep up with my mom it’s quite true. She… volunteers as for Team Reading at a local grade school. Spends 3 hours Wednesday nights at her church being a “table mom” and “comfort person” during Logos –(which she dresses up for. Last week was cowboy theme. She was so darn CUTE! in her red cowboy hat and red kerchief! ). She has two (three?) weekly study groups, one of which meets at her house at 8:30 in the morning and the other she goes to at 6:00 in the morning . She calls on sick and ailing friends – hail and hearty ones too. Calls across the country checking on family. Has occasional dinners or breakfasts for: the widow ladies, the guys who built her fence and their wives, the electrician guy, someone’s birthday or whoever/whatever reason comes to mind and loves to host out-of-town guests and holiday meals. She’s a Red Hatter. Visits with neighbors, hires kids for small jobs, greets on Sunday mornings, attends all grandchildren events, and does a myriad of “little” things like occasionally watch the associate pastors children some Sunday mornings so they don’t have to be at church from 7am – 1pm or calls on an old neighbor who recluses himself. She loves people and learning new things so attends: a special event at the MCC (gay church), a multi-denominational potluck dinner and joining in open discussion about sharing ideals w/our children from Muslims, Jews, and UU’s perspectives. And the list goes on.

Service, connection and love are what mom does so it seems kind of funny to look for ways for her to continue – and still, it rings true to do so. I just don’t yet understand my part in this. She is, at long last, beginning to accept that these things she does and the way she touches lives are special gifts, and yes, perhaps she does make a difference and maybe a “calling” can be such a simple thing as being who you already are. Such talk makes her tear up.

Her getting “hinky” might cut into her ways – or will it? - so it gets my attention more readily.

Gosh – didn’t intend to rattle on or give mom’s whole dossier but appreciate the opportunity to think aloud and draw from the collective wonder of this forum.

With much gratitude,
Bobi

hello...
sounds like an amazing mother you have... i Hope to give the way she gives.... thanks for sharing
Love Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Hello ZartGirl

Grace,
I am amazed at how peaceful I have become, and how much more I approach everything with a peaceful attitude and calmly.

There is just two situations I need help with... The first one is with my kids, as every once in a while especially or mostly when they ignore me and do not do the things I ask them to do... I go off on them! For some reason, I just get so frustrated with them and then I get frustrated with myself and start feeling like a failure as a mom... I know I am not a failure, but that is the old pattern that comes up! I know there is something down inside of me that needs dealing with!!! HELP!!! I did this two days ago... Just went off ragging at my daughter who is a teenager cause she was not ready to go when I had asked her to get ready long before this... Thanks in advance! I will also work on it on my own.

There is a girl at Iza's School who has for the last two years been bullying her (well it kind of started back in second grade). I have moved Iza to different schools several times, to only have her mom move her to those schools! So now Iza will be moving up to Walla Walla schools, and I find out her family is thinking of putting her in Walla Walla schools too! This freaks me out, as I don't know what to do about it! Part of me then says, Hey your intention is to have the freedom to move to California... so by the time H.S starts Iza and you will probably be in Calif.! Then there is this other part that says what if we are still here and this girl transfers to this school. I hear that her parents plan on lying about where they live to have her up in these schools, and if that is the case... I just have to tell the school district where she really lives, but there is a chance her Mother is leaving her Dad and planning to move up here as I did!

I just need to find peace in my heart and decide that the girls will get along and she will be a nice person for the first time in her life if they end up at the same school or me and the kids will be in Calif. and never have to deal with this child again. I also want to forgive this child for all she has done to Iza! I think I have and then I hear something she is pulling or moving up this way and I freak out! I get so angry and start plotting again! My X can't make me this mad any more, so why can this teenager do this to me!

Thanks Sallyjane zartgirl

Hi, i can really relate to the going off on the kiddos....
although i only have the one....
I find that i practice observing instead/without reacting... however easier then done.. but in this amazing when i am able to do it...
i had alot i wanted to share but it has eluded me... I had to take breather to vent out some of this energy in motion (emotion)
I did this by singing at the top of my lungs... you should have seen my cat.. she looked stressed I have a good voice... simply have never trained my voice and i was really loud...
It helped
Thank you Sally Jane for sharing and for sharing all your miracles... that inspires me to give more attention to all the miracles that happen in my life... no matter how big or how small... you have the miracle sharing stamina.. I get so impatient...
have a fobulouse day... and i am so glad to hear about how things are progressing so perfectly for you...
LOVE and Light...Goddess Adriana