Chinese Energetic Medicine by Grace

[Blake]

...what is this blanket made of ??? ...

Adriene,

Thanks soo much for telling me of your experiences and sharing your wisdom!. I have felt much the same in many/most of the meetings I have attended. I do keep running across some people who I think have "really got it" though and put a bunch of them together and they can be really inspiring and a great light in the addictive darkness. That keeps me thinking maybe my hope is in the steps/meetings. Over the myriad of years (15ish) of going to different ones.. ACA, ALONON, CODA, ISA, SIA, SLAA, SCA, OA, FA I never had the trust/courage to do the whole 12 steps with a sponsor. maybe something in me knows its not my fit...I still think for one who dose the steps they work and they have saved millions of lives all over the world ( in just AA alone). I read that in the preface to the latest edition of the big book...how wide spread it is. Its all about connecting with our higher power and changing our thinking and doing service-giving back. Thats the core of most(all?) spiritual paths!! Maybe its not mine? It'll be interesting to see what Grace get when she tests it...

What you said about most of the world is addicted...I think that is so true...there are myriads of ways to find our distractions and our culture I feel sets us up to need those distractions. From our education to media and consumerism and even religion at times teach us soo much that we are lacking and will only find our wholeness or happiness if we buy that bright shiny new toilet plunger or control based beliefe system or get straight A's.

More so we just arent taught to listen and hear ourselves, our heart, our joy...and to discover where our love is. Let alone pursue it/them. There might not be enough cubicle dwellers feeding the corperate monsters with our time and energy if we all felt we deserved to use it for the growing of our own personal joy. Some people I say this too think we would all be selfish and self absorbed if we did that. We would stop taking care of eachother. I think the opposit would be true. We would finally have the inner well soo full of our own joy that our love and compassion would effortlessly flow out to our family, neighbors, communit...world. Maybe all of our joys pieced together WOULD meet the needs of our cultures and communities in a way we couldnt even imagine? We dont really need 3/4's if whats feeding our economy anyway....

WoW, how did I get there? I hate talking economics. If I did Im sure I would ahve finished reading that orginizational tensegrity thing. What I read was An inpiring picture of how we and buisness could interact in a concious world...creating win win systems. Win win rocks!!! (as Pamela might say)

Anyway... Adrienne...I am hoping my path takes a similar course as yours... where my vibration keeps raising and the old supports simply fall away when they dont serve me any more. This newagie tranfomation work on spiritual sterroids thats comming out of our(my) conciousnes now adays seem more fun than the 12 steps anyway. I do still think I need to learn self disciplin though....maybe theres a fun way of doing that?

Peace and (thats rootbeer)

[Grace]

For KimJ!

Just wanted to let you know, Sallyjane, that yes, I've read Busing Loose, Matrix Energetics, Power of Now, lots of Wayne Dyer, Abe Hicks, the list goes on and on. Great books and thanks for the suggestion. Right now I'm reading Inspiration by Wayne Dyer. I LOVE reading those books but have a heck of a time putting what they say into practice. Maybe it's that nasty ego refusing to let go. Thank you though as I do hear what you're saying - perhaps I just need to hear it multiple times.

Interestingly enough, I distinctly remember as a kid regularly having this feeling like I (we) were on a stage for our whole lives, being watched from afar. I also was convinced I could make anything happen with my thoughts up until I was about 7. I just couldn't figure out for the life of me why it wasn't working and then I just gave up on it. LOL So you can see, this has been part of my way of looking at the world for a long time. Maybe that's part of the frustration.

Anyway, I'm on the Self Esteem module, the forgiveness one (haven't a clue how it's spelled!), the gratitude one, and Increased Synchronicity - all ones suggested by Paths. I've been on them all before except the gratitude one, but not in this combination so we'll see what happens this time around. I probably was on wrong ones for a while though as I was focusing for a bit on my new business rather than self-development.

Adrienne, thank you for your insight as well. I loved your acronym of HOW too... very interesting to ponder.... I have to "give up", just still trying to figure out what that actually means. I'd love to "give up" my current job. LOL It's good to be reminded though that you all have been through similar struggles - and are coming through them.

Okay, enough rambling about me again. Thanks again for reading! I hope I'm not taking over this thread too much lately! I do appreciate your responses though!!!

Kim

Hi KimJ,

Your posts are fabulous, so please, post as often as you desire!! When you were a child and convinced that you could make anything happen with your thoughts, YOU WERE RIGHT!! Now, let's get back to this place and grow in more faith and trust that you can still do this!!

These are the modules that I test strongest for you at this time and also how long to stay on each module to gain the most benefit:

1. Creativity in the workplace (three months)
2. 3M murakami Marketing (three months)
3. Successful living 3 (three months)
4. HoOponopono (two more months)

It tests strong that you should be focused on these for your business and for the reasons described in the full descriptions of each module. All of these also work on personal development which is great.






ps, I will be back to post in order, but I am loving all the new posts!

[Blake]

More Blanket

KimJ, Thanks for the comraderie and I agree. It is very wierd how this all weaves together and how helping myself can have such a ripple effect. A while back what got me to post for the first time was reading this atricle posted by Glen( thank you glen this was reeaally interesting!!!! and helpful) http://www.energeticforum.com/general-discussion in it there was a lik on this thin called ortegrity(or organizational tensegrity... http://www.synearth.net/Restricted-Confidential/OT.pdf

... and it describes synergy/syneric systems and win win relationships in the very begining. The description of the chrome/nickle/steel a few pages in was a really good teaching for me that my contribution even if I am in the illusion that I am weaker than others still combined with others creates something greater than the sum of our individual(identity)parts. Thanks for what you said I had forgotten about that.

And I had some thoughts from my experience that I wanted to share. I think when I added another package and then another when they had the november sale was I big turning point for me. I was feeling really discouraged with minimal results after almost nine months on PATHS and keeping the first wave choices of 4 for six months! Waiting for them to really kick in. (Mood/Self Est/Sucss I/Ult Bdy) And with the addition of more modules to choose from that I really identified with I was thinking instead of quitting...I had no where else to go though..this kinda felt like my last stop...I decided to do the reverse and leap deeper and farther in with two more packages...12!modules! I am just now finally reemerging from the financial crunch I had from it but ever since I have had more noticable changes and I felt even if I didnt get the perfect combination how could I miss hitting my basic needs with some combo of the 12!...... You know.... they have that sale of the century going on........

I have had a feeling of luxury and hope and a trust that I would surely make it now since I added those new packages. And...! I can let myself do some that felt more fun or frivilous but thought I had to wait till 2011&1/2 to try! Things have gotten better and better since! Even alone in my isolation and at work... ! to the point now where Im ready to surface and I think start to take the new me out for some test drives.... and ask for some more direct help.... And with what Ive felt with grace the past couple days I think I may have unknowingly come light years further than I thought this pasty year.... I have felt a joy and grattitude that I only remember feeling a few times in my life and immmeeennnnsssseee hope for even more! I dont think I could desribe from my perspective how radical this is. Thank you Grace!!! I will post about it to you..in a bit... but I am trying a new thing that I so respect in these threads.... how everyone responds to everyone!!! Amazing!

Also what helped me was Illusions metaphor about a house being built....soo much of the work is in the foundation and not flashy visible for a long time but when all of that is done the whole house gets raised and comes together really fast and becomes lovely usefull. Anyone have that link? Theres more to it ... There are so many cool, wise and awakening/ed people here!!! I had a friend once tell me that Fruit ripens on the tree very slowly but it only takes one quck, simple, moment in time for it to break free when its ready. Keep up the ripenning!!! I like to think we dont lose anything we read/study or experience. Its all retained and stored even if I may at times feel like a total dunce in the "classical" learning sense. And when we've ripened we'll have it all at our access....now they tell me I'll have EVERY ONES learning and wisdom at my access cuz its all me....Wellll Laa DEEE Da! Its allway so much better than I think!!!. Peace We'll get there. Blake

[Blake]

"Its all the Blanket..."

Wow, thank you for the responses and encouragement and links . So much to respond to..oh and thanks for the hugs!! Odd how comforting a smiley face embrace can be.

Belle, What you hae gathered learned and shared in your Happy childhood thread is wonderful!! Soo much there! Your amazing. I do see myself and past in there and am reassured. I think if/when they create a module addressing this, with what youve contributed, you deserve a party. Thanks for helping all of us with your experience and research. & Thanks for the three starter posts! Less daunting to get my toes wet. I'll need to go through it all with more concentration/time. That book "about the Tiger" sounds interesting. I heard about it once before. I have probably 20 books allreay stacked on my shelves waiting to be read though right now....and all the catch up on my favorite threads here. Thank for your compassion and kind words!!

Blake

[zartgirl]

Grace,

Grace,
My kids both need some more adjustments in the area of physical health. Both kids, first Nat and then Iza have had flu like symptoms this weekend. Iza (well actually both of them) have missed a lot of school this year! My feeling with Iza is it has to do with the divorce and emotional issues, and Nat somewhat too. Although Nat has always missed a lot of school each year from fevers and sinus / colds / allergies. I have cleared a lot of the kids allergies using hypnosis a year or two back, but still they are sick a great deal! Iza has hardly moved off the couch today or yesterday!

Also with Iza, she has not told any of her friends about the divorce and the fact that she lives in Walla Walla, and will soon be moving to Walla Walla schools. Can you make any corrections so she will be able to deal with this, because I feel like her friends (especially close friends) will be offended when she suddenly anounces that she lives in Walla Walla and is changing schools!

Thank you so much!
Sallyjane zartgirl

[zartgirl]

Okay, enough rambling about me again. Thanks again for reading! I hope I'm not taking over this thread too much lately! I do appreciate your responses though!!!

Kim

Never worry about taking over the forum! When you speak up you are actaully helping others! This amazed me at first when Grace would tell me this, because how could I be helping others when I was sooo screwed up (me I am speaking about)... But you really do help others...When they read your posts they resonate with them, and then they pick up the healing and corrections that were made on you and everyone is strengthened through this! So keep posting! You are wonderful and powerful!!!! By the way this applies to you too Blake!

I also posted a post to Blake up above, and all the way through I kept thinking of you! Read it and I hope it also helps you!

As you work on self development and remembering who you are, the more the other stuff will fall into place!

Blessings Sallyjane zartgirl

[zartgirl]

Blake,

Blake.... First things first you need a HUG! Hehehe... Everyone needs one of those!

Well right now you feel needy, asking for help... but that is the ego mind trying to keep you from remembering who you are! So ingore those feelings! You are awesome and powerful just like I am, and like Grace is, and all the rest who are on this tread and this forum! You are just are at the starting stages of learning that! That in and of itself is awesomeness!

Blake, I know some of the exact feelings you are dealing with! Victomization is so big these days, and it is soooo easy to let ourselves identify with it! I know I did! When I first got here I very much identified with being a victom! I loved the book Busting Loose from the Money Game (I believe the name is a little misleading as it applies to all parts of our lives not just financial). BL really helped me move from talk to walk. I know diving into all those discomforts seems a little daunting at this point, but rememeber you only have to deal with as much as you can handle! I found the BL process an absolute Godsend! For the first time I was allowed to feel my feelings instead of glossing over them, but also where to go from there to move on and to regain the power from those EGGS. Through the process I was able to move from victim to Powerful Creator! You can do the same thing... The process doesn't let you just dwell on the past, but to move to a place of gratitude for the past and the present. That is where the power of creating and manifesting is...

An example would be for me... I had to come to terms with who I am and what I look like, before I can manifest a different (smaller) me. Don't worry about the how things will manifest or the details of the manifestations... As you apply the process, do it with NO AGENDA! Don't worry about the outcome of the process, just apply it to any discomfort! The best part of the Process is the end where you rejoice in what you created and just how powerful you were to create that! It always takes you to Gratitude! Gratititude is soooo powerful, so stay in that place as much as possible. The BL book is going to teach you that you created everything (on a spiritual level) in your life past and present, and that nothing is either good or bad... We take all judgement out of the situations in our lives. This little shift in thinking eliminates the victim in our beliefs... It is the ego mind that wants us to believe that we are victims! But once you get to the point where you realize all is perfect, and THAT PERFECT brought you to this point right now... Then healing can take place! You can no longer be the victim! Your perfect life is what brought you to this forum, and to Paths, and to the BL book, so be grateful that you have created such an awesome past to bring you to this point!

I believe that you and I are the most fortunate people here, as we created such an awesome past to catapult us into an abundance beyond anything imagineable! Once we start the busting loose process we just begin to soar! The reason is because we created such a huge hot plate under our behinds, that we just have to get off of it! There is no place to retreat to, so celebrate in gratitude your hot plate that you created under your tush, and watch yourself start to soar! Its party time! Gratitude Party !!!!

Blessings my friend,
Sallyjane zartgirl

[Bobi]

catching up

I was catching up on the last couple pages of posts and this quote from a recent horoscope on Free Will Astrology kept coming to mind so thought I'd share it...

"...keep in mind the advice of inventor George Washington Carver: "Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough."

joy in all things,
Bobi

[Grace]

For Blake!

This is silly, I wrote an epic post a bit ago and then erased it all cuz I thought I was going overboard, Ive been Identifying with alot on this thread.

I do want to say I am really touched an amazed at the love and dedication and support in this thread. Grace, your kindness, strength, wisdom and pure giving heart has made my eyes get all misty while reading your responses. I think its because I am seeing in you a reflection of who I wish myself to be someday. I am 1/2 way through the busting loose book and in a preschool sort of way can see you all as me and my creation. And what a beautiful creation. Mindboggeling as it is.

I want to thank Sally Jane, Jan, and Kim for your honesty and willlingnes to be that open and vulnerable here in asking for help. I have only been reading this thread a few days but been on PATHS for a year now too. I have been very wary of asking for help. Your courage I think is rubbing off on me-as i am posting...So I guess really your courage is my courage.

I have in my past climbed out of homelessness and had my tour of duty in and out of shelters and i guess I am still in the rebuilding process- that just hit me. Being kinder and gentler to myself is a big one. I also have lived with immense shame around sex and sexuality. I heard my state once described as sexual annorexia- as I have not let myself have a deep and true love relationship yet in my life ...and very little sex as it and the intimacy scares me on some unconcious level. I keep thinking I want to experience love and the joy of sharing my life with another. And after a year of PATHS I worry that I am in need of the remedial learning PATHS programs. For my dedication in watching and trust I do think I should have sssoooo much more to show for it. But all you describe reading/studying ect Kim, SJ and Jan I realize I am in small pototoe land as far as what I have invested. I honor and respect your dedication to you self and your growth and the service you offer to others!

I need to get going but I have some questions and requests for corrections/transformations from Grace and any here. For starters I just wanted to say mee too please for all the collective corrections on soo many issues that I feel and experience also.

will hopefully get back here soon. Thanks for all your love in here. Its better than chocolate.

Blake

Hi Blake,

What touched my soul and heart the most, was your reference to Chocolate!! I too am a lover of chocolate, and yet It is nothing compared to the bliss of knowing your true Nature!! Blake, Thank you from the depths of my being for posting! You are assisting so many others that are viewing and resonating with you and your words!

I have once again, due to Paths and CEM ,shifted immensely just recently. This has brought me so much joy, and now since "my cup runneth over" I am able to make corrections on levels that were beyond my reach in the past.

I want you to know that I am making corrections for your "sexual anorexia" and other issues, and that you are helping more people than you could ever imagine! You are not alone in this and soon you will notice very subtle but powerful shifts within yourself! This in turn will help even more people who have been traumatized with these same feelings of lack.

Because of Jan, I have been making many corrections on these similar issues, and now with your amazing courage as well, I am able to do more!! I resonate with all of you, and this is why you are here. Yes you are creating it all, and so am I!! It is a blessing that we have found each other!!

Once again thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting!!

[Grace]

For Everyone!

I am in awe of all of you!! How ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS you all are!! I need more time to post this evening, so I will be back ASAP! I am working on staying in order of your posts. I am immensely blessed to have all of you in my life!!!

[Grace]

For Marnyka!

I haven't been on here as much as I was but I always come back at the right time to see certain posts. This latest thread had put some things into perspective for me. The whole, releasing as much as I can so I can hurry up and be somewhere else.....Where am I going????? I haven't sat still and listened enough lately to hear the messages.


Currently, I've got a situation that continues to pop up in my life...It is related to bosses. This last go round was when I realized it is happening for a reason and I should pay more attention to get my knowledge from it.
The relationship between me and boss starts out great and then it turns very sour. This time it turned when my son Chase was constantly getting sick back in May. My focus shifted to Chase and my boss was not too happy. He told me to find a different way to take care of my family...blah blah blah. I felt like quitting and probably would have if I wasn't the bread winner. Things get a little better because my boss takes another job within the company but he still meddles in my business. I have an new boss and he is trying to get his last 'stab' in.

I have tried and tried to let this all go, but HE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY and I can't figure it out. Even knowing it is my creation, I don't know the lesson or the reason. All I keep getting is 'Leave your job' 'This is no longer your journey' from myself. Easier said than done, so in the mean time as I prepare to make this into a reality, can I get some help with letting go with being annoyed by what is occuring at work? I would really like to hear you guy's insight on this one.

Hi Marnyka,

Yes, it tests very strong that you will be switching jobs. This new job will be more at the level of consciousness that you are living right now. It will be a match made in heaven! I have been making corrections for this, and also to feel more at Peace with your correct decision to let go of this old job.

I have made corrections for you to be more neutral to your current position and the people involved. This will assist you in maintaining balance, and even joy at the transition. Patience will be necessary, so I have been making corrections for this as well. YOU ARE FABULOUS! Keep up the great work on yourself. Your intuition is shining through!!

[Grace]

Hi Nadine!

Hi again KimJ,

Just thought I would mention....you might want to check out the Flower Essence thread....it has alot of good info, one of the essences might help you with this.

I beleive Walnut is helpful for letting go of past beleifs. I am currently taking this.

Excellent Advice!

[Grace]

For Allen!

Still can't type worth beans though...

I will make corrections for this

[Adrienne]

Blake

Hello again.


My mother also died when I was sixteen. She and I were really close...perhaps unhealthy close...and that grief and her unresolved parental curses are still swimming in my subconcious and parts of my life.

I have to say, I am zillions of times better now though. I dont think its enough anymore but I have been living so much more in the here and now all ...Its so rare that I unpack this story anymore. I am a bit wary of doing it now but I want to begin the REAL clean up and learn how to "Bust Loose" from it. I have been working steady -and well- with the same job for over three years now which is a total success for me.Perhaps not my life carrer but a good fit for now. I feel like I have been trying not to bring all my past into this new growth. But I guess Im seeing its all wrapped up in my "now" wether I pay attention to it or not... Until I choose to do the work to delete it from my reality. I have a bit of extra resources to start some real inner work now and I'm planning for The Matrix workshop in Seattle in March.

Thank you for listening to all that...Here are my questions/requests.

Can you help me figure out (and release) my fears of moving on and being happy. Letting myself love and be loved and grow into my strengths and Joy? I some how think Ive concluded being "happy" is joining my drunken,partying denial ridden family (not like I'm not there with them like this in my own "addictions" and pain) But I think theres a survivors guilt or a feeling of betrayal to all still suffering (including myself) if I decide to move on. Also I think there might be some anger at mom dying so Im holding myself hostage to try and get her back...? Rationally I know I am no use to anyone while wallowing in my pain but the pain is "safe". Maybe I also think if I live the pain well enough and deep enough The abusers will see the effects of their ways and "come around"...thats a silly dream. I guess I am still waiting to be rescued? ironically I isolate and hardy ever talk to family. I am very much the hermit. So whos going to even know where to find me if they thought it their duty to save me? I'm smart enough now to know that its ultimately going to be me ... and (as) God...who dose the saving. That iiizzz really hard to let sink in and act upon when Ive been steeped in victimhood for soo long.

One other question is... do you think that addiction-even if I'm just using food (sugar!) and sex- could be short circut-ing my attemps to break free or even let in the PATHS programing? The mental part of addiction feels like an inner skipping record or closed loop that unless broken cant let in new info or ways of thinking or chart other courses into new territory. In my experience its felt like it creates its own learning disability. I havent heard addiction addressed much in esm/PATHS. I may have missed it. I'm not a good (very consistent reader). It seems the mental aspect of long term numbing out could be a big handicap to really getting and applying all this LOA, mind over matter, busting loose stuff. I know, "argue for your limitations and they are yours".

You know how Busting Loose talks about those strategically placed eggs that can be the key supports of my illusions main frame inner structure...i think how I use food or solo sex (sounds less whimpy to me than "masterbating"... clearly an egg in that) to medicate life could be some core egg action. Ive been using food and sex really as a replacement for... oh say....everything... relationships, honest communication(i.e.intimacy), asking for help, self care, a true God connection..LOVE!

There is a very structured 12 step food program called FA (food addicts in recovery anonomys). Ive dabbled in it but have been out most of this year. I have been bucking the authority-ness of it. I also feel the 12 steps are a phase one deal for most people...not the whole truth ( and soo much identifying with the problem, but maybe those are the ones not fallowing well the suggestions?...like me). I also think it has the potential, if applied correctly and with awareness to be a phase two process. ??? FA is all encompassing and pretty strict. They have the view that flour and sugar can be for them as destuctive and deadly as alchohol is to an alcoholic.

I know the structure, and support, and accountability/integrity building, and ego busting (from the surrender to fallowing a sponsors "suggestions" -rather than my phase one brain- provided my sponsor is in phase two) are all part of what I think I need to move forward on my spiritual path. I just dont know if the 12 step FA package is the best place for me to learn these things...could you test it for me...see if its the right fit. When i did it for a while I really felt as if i'd joined a monestary but got to keep my day job and friends! It felt oddly very spiritual. If it is a stong fit maybe I'd have better luck doing it again with needed corrections to my conciouseness?

Any module suggestions would be greatly appreciated as well. i have recently acquired two more packages to create a luxurious! abundant! 12 modules in total!!! That was a leap of faith right there.

I am deeply greatful Grace that you offer to do all this for so many... I know you see the you in all of us and it brings you joy. I havent read all the pages here yet...only 5 or six so far so maybe you've addresed this somewhere here already, but from what I understand an energy exchange helps (is important?) in me recieving the most benifit of any kind of "healing" work. Is that old paradigm thinking? I feel its still true for me. I would like to offer you something for your help. Money (my appreciation) is my first thought...?

Well theres a mouth full. Hopfully this will help others also. I still think its sooo wierd you all (and everything) are me...in my conciousness..my own creation. I have only gotten to the process description in BL (which i have to say was a bit of a downer...I was soo pumped up and on board until it says my liberation is in my pain...yah move into my fears and feel the pain, embrace the discomfort for in it is my power...that must be why I am still feeling so stuck. Most of my choices are about minimizing and neutralizing all the feelings I dont like or make me uncomfortable.... It did make me think of my numbing habbits (addictions) and how not in my feelings they tend to keep me. What a trap that must be... to stay in phase one. Well there we go I have my answer. I need to keep reading though. I tried the process once on some shame and didnt feel anything-as he said would happen in the begining ...right now I'm feeling the illusion of embarrasment for "taking up so much space" writing soo much. I could try it on this.

Oh well, I'm sure I'll get less needy the more I bust my eggs. I will this time hit subit reply and let this go. Trust and move forward...go get dinner.

thanks for your love. Blake

Hi Blake,
Thank you so much for sharing that... well at one point i did mention some stuff about addiction... cuz I was addicted to drugs.. Men... and yesterday i wanted to shop and eat... those are new for me...
Hmmmm... I had been actively involved in a 12 step recovery group actualls two of them NA, and AA, and they were helpful and useful at the time.. but i began to see things that weren't fitting for me... I guess the aspect of me that didn't like religion.. was popping up with recovery groups too.. the fear based "if i don't attend meetings i will die" and granted in the beginning it applied if i kept using drugs... i would have killed myself... however i see now it has all gone exacftlly as it was supposed to go.. and in the beginning where i was that mentality appeared to save my ass... but as in moving out of phase 1 and into phase 2... it didn't fit... i always felt like i was runnning into a wall... although i was picking up on the point of what the people in the rooms were trying to attain (connection with there spirit) i was feeling like something was missing... whether that is cuz its a rooms full of people playingin phase one... therefor things are absolute cuz they need to understand it that way cuz of fear... or the contraditons... after awhile i felt like i was being dragged down by being in there... cuz my vibration was higher, i guess...
the energy felt dense.. and heavy...
i agree it does seem like there is alot of potencial in those steps.. ( they are all taken from the AA steps)
I have also had some great spiritual experiences in these places.. even ones that have lasted a while... then i became disconnected again.

Some times now when i am feeling lonely and scared and isolated... i think of jumping back in, cuz it gave me alot when it gave me alot... yet it doesn't feel right.. cuz i feel like i have to change to make the connection with most of the people there... although sometimes i will go like everymonth or so... and find some sycrnicity comes out of it... and i don't go cuz i am feeling lonely, but cuz i feel inspired to go...
I no longer identify myself as an addict either... which i am sorry to say seems to be looked down upon, by many (i never want to reffer to all) cuz as soon as I identify with it i am saying i am _____, and i am actually a powerful, infinit being... And also i find that in needing the groups... well in need is attatchement and in attachement is pain and suffering...Hmmm so when i find myself in that place of needing someone.. or a thing or a place... I get very miserable.. cuz I really need nothing but to be connected to the source... in other words i experience pain and then this is very much where letting go comes in... (if i allow myself to feel it) it is uncomfortable as hell... however so amazing on the otherside... Blake my thinking has changed so much... So much of what i hear so many speak of doesn't even make sense for me anymore... and isn't at all how i see things..

not sure if this is helpful for you, but you have helped me in sharing so openly about addiction... I would have also liked to have seen more discussion on this topic... yet I was too fearful to start... and there also seems to be an aspect too of focusing on what is... opposed to the issues.. I get that, but sometimes am frustrated at it too, cuz I have often felt like...HUH, I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT YOU PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT...
Then i have had to go within...
I think that most of the world is addicted in someway or another.. and it can be to anything that stops feeling... which to me is looking to something outside myself to make me feel better...NOW...
For instance i did some major compulsive cleaning the other night and i knew it was to avoid how i felt... till the house was asleep... if the world stopped being so busy then we'd probably go through alot more paper products...
I also wanted to eat and shop desperatly all day yesterday, cuz i am felling stuff.... which is ok too, but this morning i made myself do some feeling work... cuz it doen't feel good to be drivin by emotion for me... and also what is still inside of me will send out a vibration and bring me more of it... so up and out i say...
If there is another way i would Love to know about it...
The addictions that have been a huge part of my life up to now are not things that i can convince myself are solutions... even if my head tells me it is a good idea...lol
Ok i think i have been totally rambling now...
so thanks again and keep sharing, cuz you help so many... and you have the right to take up space.... i am also learning toallow myself to take up space ON PURPOSE.. the process is a great tool too... takes alot of courage if it is one that fits for you.... used it this morning...

have a fabulouse day Adrienne
BTW.. the matrix seminar opened me right up... so cool you are gonna go

[Glenn]

Hi Marnyka,

I wanted to leave my job and be self supported. Well, about 2 weeks after I put something similar into my Platinum, I was put on disability. I won't go into details about all that, just suffice it to say that it is a mixed blessing. I've been at home for 4 months now, my pain is mitigated, and I am able to work on my home businesses and just hang when I need to. My disability checks are less than my paychecks, but I have unwavering confidence and belief that this is all for the best and it will all work out. And it will - I have no doubts whatsoever.

The point is, I made a conscious decision to try to fight against my present circumstances. I'm trusting in the Universe to work this out through my intentions. So far, so good.

The more you get the messages, 'Leave your job' and 'this is not your journey' and don't act upon them, the stronger your resistance will be, and the stronger the reaction (the conflicts with your bosses) will be.

You know you are ready for better times, but without having a clear road map, the trip can be a scary one. Just know that the Universe is working correctly and looking out for you. I like the idea of sending your boss a silent intention of forgiveness and/or love. While the universe may have put this situation in your path, it is up to you to decide how you will react, and eventually deal, with this situation (your bosses seem to be dealing rather poorly from your account - and I've been there many times myself).

Change is not always easy when you don't plan for it, expect it or want it. But when it comes, you can't fight it because the Universe and LOA will turn things around on you in ways you may not necessarily want or need.

Follow your heart and dreams and have absolute faith that what you do is for your best interests. Keep checking in with people like Grace, Sharyn, Keoi, MoxieMaggs, and others to make sure you are on the right course for you (they can check energetically for you). It will (although we can't see how at this moment) work out and you will be in a better place than you are now (or at least you will start taking steps to where you want to be).

Hang in there - it will work out!