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On the French Riviera, just outside Monte Carlo.
Time To Hang Up The Car Keys
Al
Time To Hang Up The Car Keys
Al
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Last edited by aljhoa; 09-16-2011, 02:19 PM. -
Sign at a golf club
Supposedly an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland, UK:
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.
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Heard on the Late Night Show with Jimmy Fallon:
"Seek wisdom by keeping an open mind to alternative realities, questioning authority, and searching for truth. Only then, when you see or hear something that has 'the ring of truth' to it, will it be as if a veil has been lifted, and suddenly you will begin to hear and see far more clearly than ever before." - RickoffComment
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hmm, somebody took a picture of her taking a picture? lolOriginally posted by aljhoa View Post
btw it took me a minute to realize that durex billboard was fake, i was looking at the wrong details lol.
i always wondered why i hate sleep, a couple of weeks ago my mom told me she drank tons of coffee while she was pregnant...thats explains it lolComment
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Heard on latenight TV shows:
Conan Obrien"
Jimmy Kimmel"Last edited by rickoff; 10-13-2011, 06:57 AM."Seek wisdom by keeping an open mind to alternative realities, questioning authority, and searching for truth. Only then, when you see or hear something that has 'the ring of truth' to it, will it be as if a veil has been lifted, and suddenly you will begin to hear and see far more clearly than ever before." - RickoffComment
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Barry says to OWS protestors:
"Seek wisdom by keeping an open mind to alternative realities, questioning authority, and searching for truth. Only then, when you see or hear something that has 'the ring of truth' to it, will it be as if a veil has been lifted, and suddenly you will begin to hear and see far more clearly than ever before." - RickoffComment
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Three parishioners from the local church were asked by their pastor, "When you're in your casket, and your family and friends are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie answered: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Jerome commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Al said: "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"Last edited by rickoff; 02-07-2012, 03:06 PM."Seek wisdom by keeping an open mind to alternative realities, questioning authority, and searching for truth. Only then, when you see or hear something that has 'the ring of truth' to it, will it be as if a veil has been lifted, and suddenly you will begin to hear and see far more clearly than ever before." - RickoffComment
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Heard on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno- A woman in Southern California pepper sprayed her fellow customers on Black Friday at Wal-Mart so she could get an advantage while shopping. But the good news is, today she was offered a job with the U.C. Davis police department.
- A woman claims she had a 13-year affair with Herman Cain. You know what that means? While he was fooling around with those four other women, he was cheating on his mistress.
- Another woman came forward with allegations about Herman Cain. I think she's number 9-9-9 now.
"Seek wisdom by keeping an open mind to alternative realities, questioning authority, and searching for truth. Only then, when you see or hear something that has 'the ring of truth' to it, will it be as if a veil has been lifted, and suddenly you will begin to hear and see far more clearly than ever before." - RickoffComment
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Heard on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
- I was in the supermarket today, and I saw some Occupy Wall Street protesters in the dairy department. They were protesting the 1 percent milk.
Heard on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
"Seek wisdom by keeping an open mind to alternative realities, questioning authority, and searching for truth. Only then, when you see or hear something that has 'the ring of truth' to it, will it be as if a veil has been lifted, and suddenly you will begin to hear and see far more clearly than ever before." - RickoffComment
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Heard on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno- Unemployment is down. People are out looking for work. That's good news. In fact, Herman Cain applied at Domino's and Pizza Hut.
- Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.
- Over the weekend, Herman Cain dropped out the Republican presidential race. Cain said he wants to spend more time with the wife. Not his wife.
- Now that he's back home, Cain has a huge to-do list for himself, such as cleaning out the garage and living in it.
"Seek wisdom by keeping an open mind to alternative realities, questioning authority, and searching for truth. Only then, when you see or hear something that has 'the ring of truth' to it, will it be as if a veil has been lifted, and suddenly you will begin to hear and see far more clearly than ever before." - RickoffComment
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Heard on the Late Show With David Letterman- I was at the airport and it was so cold out there that to keep warm the TSA agents were actually putting their hands in their own pants!
"Seek wisdom by keeping an open mind to alternative realities, questioning authority, and searching for truth. Only then, when you see or hear something that has 'the ring of truth' to it, will it be as if a veil has been lifted, and suddenly you will begin to hear and see far more clearly than ever before." - RickoffComment
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In the year 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.
This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.
The other involves a groundhog.Comment
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