Chinese Energetic Medicine by Grace

[Grace]

For KimJ!

I've been given notice by another one.... three in two weeks, down to one.

I'm stunned, shocked, mortified, terrified, all of it and if I don't admit that I'm just denying it.

I'd close my doors today if I could as it's just not worth it the stress anymore, but of course we have leases signed all over the place.

I just don't know what to do. I've visualized, stayed positive, let go, on and on, and this is where I'm at. It just doesn't seem right. We're about to lose everything and yet as I type this I feel like I'm "ordering" more of it. I just don't know what to do anymore. Why, when I'm in this process of learning I'm this amazing creator, is my "reality" worse than it's ever been in my life?

Kim

Hi KimJ,

There is nothing you need to do, only to BE. This is easier said than done, when you are being round house kicked to the face! ( I have been there, so I know the pain of it) yet, your feelings are only based on your perception of the situation. You perceive this as Bad. Change your perception and you have changed your outer world (projected reality) instantly.

Yes, you have created this, but it only shows how powerful you truly are! Once again change your perception and you will use the power that is you in a way that will project more of what you are. Breathe and "give up" the idea that you can control what you are projecting if you are unaware. Become AWARE and you will create what you truly are. Peace, Love and Joy.

As I make corrections on "focusing on what you desire", vs focusing on what you don't want, I ask you to pay attention to how often you can focus your mind on "correct thinking". I am not talking about visualization. I am talking about what you really believe. Focus on what you are grateful for, what you really believe to be true for you and what you are grateful for. This will get you started onto creating more of what you desire (extending the love that you are) .

KimJ, You are PERFECTION!

[Adrienne]

hi SallyJane

So I have been frustrated with my kids and the neighbors dogs who start at 5am barking... My kids don't do their chores when I am gone, and those dogs just bark and bark and bark! This morning I was ready to go over to the neighbors and just tell them something or another about their dogs needing to be dealt with! Also very frustrated with kids cause no chores getting done and my plate is way too full to make up the slack! Then I thought about it for a minute... Does fighting against it, actually eliminate it, or does it create more of it? So the more I fight with my kids to do their chores... The less chores they do! Hmmm... Dogs barking... Will yelling at my neighbor really make dogs stop barking? Answer:NO! So decided to 2 point kids and dogs before work, and while I was at it decided to 2 point phone calls at work to be short and sweet (work in collections, soooo) Got home tonight after 11.5 hour shift and Izzi had definitely did her chores and Nat was in bed... Still have to continue to work on Nat with 2 pointing and chores... Tomorrow we will see how dogs do, or if dogs bark if I will even hear them or care if they are barking!

Got to work just in time... something else I had decided to 2 point, because I have this fear of being late so I show up incredibly early... Today I just wanted to be on time and not too early... I was just that and more importantly calm... Then I started taking calls, and I got the easiest calls today while the people around me were having people yelling and cussing at them and supervisor calls! It was cool! Then I was talking to another rep and he was saying he could not calm down an upset customer... I was saying how they all seem to calm down for me! I realized that that is how I have created my world! I have a calming affect on people who just call in!

I just thought this was all soooo cool when we can calm down and we stop fighting against things and just start to send the right energy towards it!

I was just so excited with the results of my little test in changing my energy I was throwing at my family and the world... So this afternoon I sent my kids a text message with instead of the list of chores they are to do... just an I love you! Mom!

Blessings All and HUGE HUGS Sallyjane

Ok love , I read your post.... i smile cuz i read this once 1
then i was on this site Who I Am Makes A Difference Movie - The Blue Ribbon Story - Related Products have just re-read this post... and now get what you were talking about.. about sending love.
I started on this page... wow what a beautiful site..
Kids are so wonderful..
even in the toughest of times.. and being able to send "good vibes" can make such a difference
When i say toughest times, i do think they are showing us ... well us.... the mirror thing.. and we are living with them
i have enjoyed the stuff i have come across.
just wanted to share this with you and say thank you..
wow, you are doing/being amazing
Love and Gratitude... Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Hi Grace,

I need some help. I don't know what's going on, but it seems like whenever things are going well and I acknowledge and express gratitude for the good things in my life, it's like a door is slammed shut and everything goes back to "normal" or gets worse. I have wanted to post for over a week, but I was hoping this would pass. I had a couple of days when almost every thought I had was negative. I would force myself to find the good, but it was a fight.

I don't know if it's the corrections stirring up past issues, or if it's just a part of the PATHS process, you feel better, then worse, then better again, or cognitive dissonance?

Then things started breaking. My DVR isn't working. My computer went nuts, I lost all of my bookmarks and my browser got hijacked. My washing machine broke; the repairman came 3 times and it still doesn't work. What's going on here? I feel like I am going insane.

Financially I'm down to the wire. My ex wants me out of the house, I have no money and no job, just a paltry amount from disability. But I know something will turn up... it always does. A couple of people owe me money. My right and perfect income opportunity will come to me right in the nick of time. I took a leap of faith last week and ordered the Platinum module and put it on a credit card. Let's get this show on the road! I got a part-time job to cover my expenses.

I haven't been in pain for over a year... until last Thursday. The first day on the job, I lasted 3 hours before the pain began in my back and then my knees. An hour later I could barely walk or stand up straight. Not enough to drive me back to pain pills, but it's getting close. My back took almost a week to recover, and my knees still hurt. I'm telling myself that it's ok, I'm ok, and everything is in Divine Order, and I didn't really want that job anyway. So the ex wants me to go to a temp agency on Monday and work in an office and be a day person like everyone else.

I've always wanted to be a real estate investor, but the ex was not supportive, saying all real estate investors are crooks and you can't really make any money in real estate. Buying the worst house in the neighborhood and fixing it up is not my thing; I prefer pretty houses. I'm highly sensitive and the energy of a trashed house drains me physically and emotionally. Last year I took a 3 day "boot camp" for a system that I felt was a good match for me. Pretty houses, no repairs, full price offers and I still make money... a win/win situation. I haven't done anything with it because I've been too afraid (no cash, no husband or partner to help me and I didn't have faith in myself), but it's been in the back of my mind and I've been hoping that the modules I am using will increase my confidence and synchronicities so I can get this started soon. I sure could use a refresher course... I wish they'd come to Tampa soon.

So I'm sitting here writing all of this negativity down, not wanting to give in to it, but honor it as my creation, forgive myself and move on. I'm wondering what happened to all of those synchronicities that were everywhere I looked a couple of weeks ago? I sure could use some now.

I decided to write to Team Support about my Platinum module. I have narcolepsy and I'm still not sleeping without medication. I'm not sure exactly how much I can put into it, but I need to change my financial situation. As I'm typing, my cell phone rings and it's the people from the R.E. seminar. They are coming to Orlando this weekend, and would I like to attend? Since I've already taken the seminar, it's free! Perfect!

So maybe those synchronicities are starting again. But I sure would like to know why it seems to come and go. And what's with all the broken stuff? And why do my knees still hurt? And I might need help choosing new modules.

It's never boring!

With Love and Gratitude,

Pam

Hi Pam....
well perhaps things have passed by now... and perhaps not...
however i will give my take on what you have written
I hope it will be helpful.
and i share from my experience of being able to relate to what you wrote and the feeling of it..
sounds like some BIG things are being challenged within...
Chaos theory came to mind... where everything falls apart so that it can come back in perfect sync.
I hear ego... when stuff within me is stirred... the ego is fighting for its life... trying to convince us that it is you/me/the guy beside me..
cog dissonance... well at different points i had felt like i wanted to die... yup really...
or like i was dying, and i was... the ego was dying...
the death befor the physical death...
you are experiencing this, cuzit is time...
we can let go and let god...
Trust...
and allow the beauty of the process to unfold..
SIGH...lol
or like i myself have experienced often... resist
and in that resistance is the need to hang on to something that is comfy and familiar... no matter how i may consciously think i want it gone...
in the need is pain and suffering....
and i have also experienced alot of physical pain in my days... and the pain is mostly gone.. it comes and goes...
but when it comes.. i know it is more about me hanging on rather than letting go...
and as i am coming to realize and understand (so to speak)
is that i only ever knew myself as the crap... and have been terrified of the light that i am.... and this came from many beleifs... like ones of how could i possibly be GOD
cuz god is infinit... and powerful... and mighty...
and so are you Pam, and so am I
Hmmmm..
resistance... will create all kinds of havoc... guess it depends on how we look at it...
but in the midst of it.. it does appear soo real... but it is an illusion of the mind...
ask yourself... in this very momont what do i need..???
and when i ask myself this question... no matter how insane things feel... i am in need of nothing in that exact moment...
yes i too have felt insane often, Grace could testify to that one Thanks Grace
so thank you for sharing Pam...

You Are Fabulous
Peace and Gratitude
Adrienne

[Adrienne]

Pam

Hi Adrienne,

You are so sweet. Thank you for saying such nice things!

I don't always find it easy to share, especially on an open forum like this... Though you'd never know it by the length of my posts. This is the first forum I've ever joined and posted on. It takes me days to build up the courage to share my "problems" and hours to write. But I am determination to change my life. I know I NEED help and I have to ASK in order to receive.

I think you are amazing. I've been reading the posts from the beginning, and I can see how much you've grown. I love seeing you find your voice and stand up for yourself. I am in awe of YOU! That takes courage. Give yourself credit for your honesty and openness as well.

With love and gratitude,

Pam

thank you
Adrienne

[Adrienne]

cool

Hi Pam,

I am aware that for some it is very difficult to see the Truth when the outer world is bombarding us with Dualism. It is the ego/mind that wishes to label something as good or bad. The belief in Dualism which is (not Truth) causes us to experience the "ups and downs" in this world.

If we put faith into Dualism we will be choosing to position ourselves on the outer rim (outer world) of the Wheel of Fortune. We will ride on this wheel on the outside going in a constant circle and experience constantly going up and down. On all levels of our experiences (physical, mental, emotional, psychological, psychic, and spiritual) we will perceive ups and downs.

These "ups and downs" are only a perception, because if we focus our mind on the "hub" of the wheel, the inner circle, the wheel will turn forever but we will only experience a centered peace in this movement.

As I make corrections now for all that you are asking for, I offer you a different way to experience what you are passing through.

Do not label these experiences as bad, or something you wish to hurriedly get through.

Consider these experiences as strengthening exercises. Just like a body builder, whose goal is to increase muscle mass, once she is able to lift a certain amount of weight for more than 16 repetitions, she then MUST increase the size of the weights she is lifting to improve her physique.

While she is grueling through those last few repetitions with the new higher weight, and can barely get through the first 8 repetitions (Just as you are right now with your worldly experiences), the moment she passes through the workout her body is weakened once again. The muscle fibers have microscopically torn and are internally bleeding. But as she remembers that this is part of the process, she has no fear.

She takes care of her body with rest, and a healthy diet(Faith and Gratitude). She also knows that as her muscles go through this process of breaking down, they are also going to build back up stronger and stronger.

You are merely going through the process of breaking down false beliefs. The Ego/Mind (false beliefs) will do everything in it's power (and it has no power but this, another false belief) to make you focus on Dualism. This is it's only job. To make you focus on Death, instead of life.

Our Energy vibrations move like a spiral going up. (like the spiral of DNA). At times as we raise our level of consciousness (our energy) and attain a new level, it feels different. As we spiral up it is a movement that is similar to moving two steps forward and one step back, but you are moving forward and higher even though it "feels" like you are falling back.

This is where Faith in the Truth of who you are is essential. Like the body builder who knows she is getting stronger with every workout, You KNOW with Faith and Gratitude that there is nothing to fear, you are at peace knowing that what ever life throws at you, you are committed to raising your level of consciousness. In this level of consciousness you will experience the same experiences but you will easily forgive and maintain peace. With each practice/workout you will succeed more and more at achieving a greater and greater sense of Peace. You will find that all is perfect and whole no matter what is in the outer world. Even as you feel physical pain, you will know that this is a process of letting go of the Fear that things are going to get worse. The ONLY Truth is that all is Perfect.

When you label something as not good, you are focusing your attention on "not good". This will attract more of the same thing, because you are practicing creating "not good". When you understand that it is just as simple to create the truth, which is better than anything we could possibly imagine that we label "good" in this world, then your mind is focused on Peace.

With each correct thought you are turning on your light! With each thought that you have that you are Perfect, you are shining your light. Fear has no where to run, it will simply disappear. It has no power because it does not exist in the true reality of who you are.

I will make CEM Corrections on you most of today Pam, and many of you reading this will benefit greatly from these corrections. I am grateful for your courageous post!


p.s Blake I have not forgotten, I plan to post to you next. Thank you for your private message.

hey, what you said here about the hub and stanying close to it... as well as just all of it...
i get it now
and i just had a different interpretion come to me.
I need to stay close to my center... opposed to vearing out into the world of dualism..
or something like that
in other words true to self
innerself/higher self.
in the center... Hmmmm
i just didn't get it befor
and that cuz this is perfect now
cheers.... love and light...Adrienne

[Adrienne]

wow

First of all, just a big huge

I just wanted to tell the both of you that back when I was going through my divorce and my x was filing paperwork against me filled with lies about how he had custody of the children, and how I couldn't hold down and job and never even mentioned how I had ran his business for 10-15 years... Well... I felt a lot the way you do now! The feelings of sinking were overwhelming, and I can remember both Grace and Stephen telling me it would all work out peacefully, and that someday I would rewrite my X's script, and I would get custody of my children and I would move to California and it would all be worked through peace and gratitude and love and forgiveness I really could not imagine it that way...

The truth is I never hired a lawyer... Everything I have today happened just as they told me it would! Now I am telling you that soon you will start to rewrite the scripts of the people in your lives. You will start to rewrite the script of your life movie, and it will be all about peace, gratitude, forgiveness, love, and so on and so forth. You are both totally awesome creators, and so awesomely powerful... just look at what you have created so far, and now that you are learning to write your scripts the way you want them to be... WATCH OUT! I am soooo enjoying watching you two grow and move forward and I see myself so much in both of you, and I see where I came from and I hear myself through your posts! Trust me, something great is coming and this is just the begining! So get excited for it right now!

Big HUGS

how do you do that???
no i mean it
lol
cuz man I think i am just starting to get some of this...lol
although i think its been like puzzle pieces perhaps...
Hmmmm... with graces post i posted to... stay in the center
ok, what comes to me is.. i come here to this forum I post... i then feel good from all the wonderful reading i have taken in.. and then i post... and then i go and hang out on the edge for a while...
Hmmm...
i am hearing vigilance SallyJane
wow... i have said it befor
but you inspire me like freain crazy
nope not wanting to put you on a pedestal...
but it has been a long time.. if ever where i really felt touched by someone sharing...
however i think i had spent more time judging then anything.
Hmmmm...
well i am beginning to be able to connect the dots...
cool
my heart is full of love and gratitude,
so i wish this for you
Adrienne.. (with the french pronounciation)

[Adrienne]

HI

I've been given notice by another one.... three in two weeks, down to one.

I'm stunned, shocked, mortified, terrified, all of it and if I don't admit that I'm just denying it.

I'd close my doors today if I could as it's just not worth it the stress anymore, but of course we have leases signed all over the place.

I just don't know what to do. I've visualized, stayed positive, let go, on and on, and this is where I'm at. It just doesn't seem right. We're about to lose everything and yet as I type this I feel like I'm "ordering" more of it. I just don't know what to do anymore. Why, when I'm in this process of learning I'm this amazing creator, is my "reality" worse than it's ever been in my life?

Kim

hello...
i just want to say...
sometimes we think that something is the best for us... and perfect for us...
and then there is what going to be absolutly perfect...
and it is gonna be so amazing that we aren't even able to even fathom it...
we say we want changes... and then changes start to happen and it's like holy crap i didn't want that to change..
but in order to have the changes we desire things will have to shift..
sounds like lots of shifting around in the cosmos....
perhaps to challenge fears within you... perhaps to access that faith...
perhaps to let go of the picture...
your higher self knows, therefore you know
like i mentioned ealier to Pam... the chaos theory...
things will look like they are falling apart.. so they can align perfectly....
and i say this in the tid bits i have read here and there...
but i think that is the jist of it...
have faith that all is perfect... and know all is well
in the moment you have everything you need...
and the moment is all there is.
N.O.W.
No Other Way
i just made that up right now
lol
what is in the way, is the way. what is on the path, is the path.
just wait one more minute... one more day.... the miracle will happen...
it is in the works right now...

another thought...
in my experience... the more i panic... the worst it seems to get...
and throught this i am able to see how i am creating the things i don't want.
have you read any of the Ho'oponopono stuff?

i'm sorry
please forgive me
thank you
i love you

Is amazing...
love and light... Adrienne

[Grace]

For Blake!

Just wanted to post some majik... This maybe what many of your lives are normally like...I feel I(in the unified Grace field) have just turned on and up the syncronicity volume that seems to be answering my questions. Some of the questions posed to Grace were around fallowing my joy...but I felt frozen. I listed what I thought i enjoyed...not sure where to begin...Now i know I knew it...already...(that, Before you can even form the question it is answered, thing)... AANNDD... I dont have to know everything...thats about control which is my ego... I just need to know whats next? what will be benificial or "useful"? And trust enough to move into it. Staying connected with my heart (or figuring out what that is) and my Godself too is Big.

This Matrix weekend one of the reoccuring themes for me was that I would always end up talking to people who did things that were on my list to grace...singer song writer, writers, storytellers, artist sculptress, and this one guy you would never have guessed... ballroom dancer! and salsa and a few others! and Ive had this unexplainable yearning for dance??? not sur what kind... but that as well as singing bumps me up against some of my greatest fears!! THEN on my bus ride back there were these two women. Also not what I'd figure the classic dance type... and one had this big ballroom dance insignia on the back of her jacket!!....She kept popping up infront of mwe when wed get off the bus for a break... Ballroom...Ballroom... Ballroom! so i figure something is up with the Ballroom thing...

cut to my job...janitor in a hospital...theres this Dr who for some strange reason has for a month + been trying to get me to take a Ballet class shes in cuz all women almost no guys to "pod de duo" with -if I said that right...Ive been so dense to keep saying no. Youve got to be kidding! MmE!? BALLET? I think i might have even said "thats soo gay" ...she knows my not so "secret" identity...if it is that. Dose she think all homosexuals instictually want to dance ballet? I like her...Shes nice, but she had never said a word to me before this! Sooo the second day I'm back from the Matrix LA La land she comes up to me and I ask her a bout a recital they did-(Peter and the wolf?) and I'm expecting another recruiting session...but she had completely changed gears and now shes pimping me out to the nurses who also want to dance but have no partner...She said I need to talk to soinso...a cute little middle aged Russian(or close)nurse lady who wants to take a BALLROOM dance class! I laughed and now have to awknowledge the persistance of mySelf to get through to me!! I sais we'll see... but I know I have to fallow this . The Nurse just now caught me on my trash and linnen run... and...Its ON! Shes incontrol...Im just fallowing this...until we dance- I guess...then I am the preverbial MAn...She IS a Russian-ish (Ukranian?) woman...maybe we can trade ...I'm sure I'll be a good lead??? Sooo a smallish thing but majical and definately something different! "Look for whats different" the Matrixians keep sayin...I get the distict feeling "whats different" now is looking for me.

More later
Blake

ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! I have several friends into Ball Room Dancing. One of my Karate brother's wife is a Professional ball room dancer! It does test strong for you! Keep following your Joy Blake, it is the only correct action to take in every moment!

Adrienne, your Posts are all so very inspirational! Fantastic!!

[Kevin]

Hi Kevin!

I love when you Post to this Thread!!!

Moral Dualism - The conflict between good and evil, and the idea that it is morally correct to choose good vs evil. It is my belief that it is more functional to "intend" the Truth(that there is only Love) vs choosing good over evil. When choosing Good over evil, you are still giving faith to Evil, because in choosing good, you are still believing (giving power) in evil.

Yes Yes, I know, All I have to do is turn on the news, and I am smacked in the face with all sorts of Strife.

It is just a projection of the Ego/Mind. I believe that the Ego in it's suburb ability to make us perceive ill, is also making us perceive the separation from the truth.(The Ego is only a belief that we are separate from God) Many people believe that we need to see peace first outside of ourselves before we can have Peace in this world. The Opposite is the case.

We need to observe the truth that WE ARE PEACE. This alone will create peace in our projected outer world. We only need to "RECOGNIZE" that we ARE PEACE! Our very essence is/and has always been Peace. One can't project Peace, unless the Projector has in it's program the Truth of it's Being, which is complete and total Peace.

It is a great blessing to know that Paths is focused on Peace via Project 1 world! THANK YOU Kevin for all that you do!!

Hi Grace,

What a popping thread!

When I say I believe in moral dualism, I am looking at this:

Moral dualism is the belief of the coexistence (in eastern and naturalistic religions) or conflict (in western religions) between the "benevolent" and the "malignant". Most religious systems have some form of moral dualism - in western religions, for instance, a conflict between good and evil.

Moral dualism simply implies that there are two moral opposites at work, independent of any interpretation of what might be "moral" (excerpted from wikipedia)

We may have different belief systems in this regard.

HOWEVER, I do believe that a person can (and should) view and experience Everything in their life as good (not good in the context of good vs. evil or bad, but good in the context of Love, Passion, Joy, Excitement, Expectation, Happiness, Optimism, Hope, Contentment, Gratitude, Appreciation, etc.) and profitable for their life.

At our core, who we are, is what colors our perception/reality of our world. The tree always grows out from the seed, just as our lives grow out from our thoughts.

What a great thread and light you are!

[Adrienne]

ok..

hello Grace...
and everyone who is here reading

ok, first off i am gonna share what is going on.. and am feeling embarassed about that. cuz i guess i think that oh wonderful shouldn't i be further ahead than this...
well, Hmmmm... not sure of what to say about that statement as it rings false with me..

for some reason or another... i have created myself unable to pay my rent... and other financial challenges have popped up...
and i am kind of at a loss...
i know i have to do something different...
I need to allow myself to experience a life without all this finacial chaos.. and drama
in the last month i have become very aware of how i am the one who needs to take charge of my own life..
but that realization is sitting differently with me, then just saying it.. and not doing it.
ok, then Hmmm, "not doing" ok... well then the statement of not neededing to do anything pops up...
well honestly for a large chunk of my adult life... i haven't been doing anything.. and silently hoping things will change... and that money will drop into my lap
i was never motivated to go out and get... i was terrified..
not sure why.. was just always in so much fear

God i feel like i missed the day when many learned how to take care of themselves..

i know alot of growth has come in the last year.... i am also ending up in the position with financial chaos.... it has gotten better... but god
everytime i end up in this place... it affects me harder (so to speak)
or perhaps it just fits less and less with who i know myself to be.
speaking of this situation... the lisence i am supposed to be taking the road test for next week... well i created it so the money to pay for it is unavailable..
its like i have this chronic unconscious message playing that keeps setting me up to always almost attain, get, reach a goal... or "the light" or move forward...
and poof my thoughts, or something happens and i self sabotoge
I have no idea of how i am doing this... or why.
at least consciouly
self worth...
i have somethings i am loooking at.
i am gonna find another job...
and i say this, i hae been talking about this for a while now on and off
but freeze in the action part... geeze... not sure why
i have been working for over a yr at this job... where i make a bit more than minimum wage... but don't work fulltime... hoping the hours are gonna pick up.. hoping for a few things to change.
time to move on...
can't wait around for ever.. and it is really affecting finances...
cuz hello... i do need money to pay for things...
god i would be better off working anywhere full time at the same rate
even if a coofee shop... or mcdonalds
geeze
pride... not useful in this instance
I have also seemed to move away from an area of my life where people were helpful... would offer guidance and suggestion while in my frustrations...
when i was honest.
this was in my recovery group...
yet it isn't fitting for me anymore..

i have also considered going back to school... looking at someof the government jobs... and other higher paying stuff..
well.... they all want you to have these skills..
lol

gezze honestly... i feel intimidated by alot .... and it has been so freakin strong lately ... on and off that is

something.. that has come to mind is.. judgement
judgment , judgement, judgement
i am judgeging everything, and everyone
and think that i am the only one who knows anything
well....
this is an insight that came to me recently... cuz i will act that way with people... like they don't know anything...
geeze

gonna try not to edit...

and i have spent so long trying to avoid the norms...
like beleiving we have to work hard and live life to work so we can retire and then what... finally have fun...

and then there are the social norms.. and the socirtal norms
and bla, bla, bla,.... the herds of people who follow
and i have been likeno thanks...
but the irony in this is i have done no different... just thought it was
to some exstent..
cuz i have/am coming to the conclusion that i need to stand on my own two feet, and stop hanging onto the coat tails of whoever happens to fit the picture (if thats how it happens)
i say these things yet find i am looking to people to give me the answers... and i have the answers inside me...
as i write this... the clarity seems foggy to what inside of me is saying

and in the midst of many things that have progressed...
i have less people in my life now then i can remeber when...
not sure if i am pushing people away... don't think so...
but the fear of going out there, or letting people in

God, i am having an intense moment of judging what i wrote...
so i will end it here...
there is nothing wrong with It.
A

[Blake]

Adrienne!

I just thought of that Rocky moment where Rocky screams ADRIENNE!!!!...i cant think of why...i think its cuz he loves her somuch and shes not there with him??? anyway!!! maybe its spelled different too but whatever. Its such an iconic movie moment. Have I already said this when Ive replied to a post of yours? When I say and do things now a days I keep having a feeling like I have already done them. Wierd.

I can very very much feel soo much of what your saying...( I tried really hard not to say "I can relate" ...could you tell ) The standing on my own two feet bit. waiting for things to just start working better or $ to fall in my lap...cuz occasionally it did. Financial chaos and my lack of planning...I got a big message about that with this ME trip. Often I think I'm being adventurous or spontaneous by not planning. You cant box me in! But really I think I am starting to get that a bit of structure for me would be very useful. Well see.

Your post is making me think of how I ended up with this job!!! So i wont go into too much detail cuz I'll need to go find a part in a book that I fallowed. But basically this guy wrote a book after having an angel...Michael...not sure if its theee Michael...show up and teach him stuff...in the begining of their work he was instructed to do a self babtism and offer himself and his work to God. It took him a while before he did it...he stalled and procrastinated and then finally surrendered. I did the same. But after I did it something shifted... it was like I was led to this job which was and is perfect for me...better in so many ways than anyting I could have come up with...I didnt even have a concept of paid vacations or insurance ect...AND It felt effortless how it came about. I never would have looked here for work if it werent for what happened at the Babtism....

I'm not a babtismy kind of guy or "Christian" per se but this just made sense... Its just between me and God and not anny churchy trappings or control . Michael actually had a beef with how Church and denominations misuse Babtism...Its not for anyone to tell you who dose and dose not belong to God. We are all Gods. I love how that has two meanings I didnt meaan that...or maybe I did.

I just knew I wanted to "officially" in my own way give myself to God and offer me to be of service. This was simple and solo and outdoors .

SSSooo the Babtism is just done by yourself (with a bottle of wine-not injested- and A big bowl that you wash your hands and feet in )... when you have a bit of time in the morning and midday... Anyway I'll explain it more when I find the book. Really, understanding what I do now, I could have done anything with the intent of offering myself to God and to be of service and i think It would Be just as valid and Majical and true.

I'll still give you the outline of how Michael instructed Bob as a starting point ... if it interests you or anyone else. Bob Crane was the guy (the ghost? writer was Gary Hardin?) and the booK is "On the wings of heaven" ? I think.

I hope I dont sound pesumptious with this...the where to go, what to do, something needs to change was exactly where I was at when I did this... and ironicaly I was there again a few weeks ago before writing Grace and going to the ME thing. Maybe I need to "recommit" myself ....before someone else dose ? Maybe its time for me to do a Level II babtism...Hmmmmm.

Talk later.
Blake

[Adrienne]

Blake

I just thought of that Rocky moment where Rocky screams ADRIENNE!!!!...i cant think of why...i think its cuz he loves her somuch and shes not there with him??? anyway!!! maybe its spelled different too but whatever. Its such an iconic movie moment. Have I already said this when Ive replied to a post of yours? When I say and do things now a days I keep having a feeling like I have already done them. Wierd.

I can very very much feel soo much of what your saying...( I tried really hard not to say "I can relate" ...could you tell ) The standing on my own two feet bit. waiting for things to just start working better or $ to fall in my lap...cuz occasionally it did. Financial chaos and my lack of planning...I got a big message about that with this ME trip. Often I think I'm being adventurous or spontaneous by not planning. You cant box me in! But really I think I am starting to get that a bit of structure for me would be very useful. Well see.

Your post is making me think of how I ended up with this job!!! So i wont go into too much detail cuz I'll need to go find a part in a book that I fallowed. But basically this guy wrote a book after having an angel...Michael...not sure if its theee Michael...show up and teach him stuff...in the begining of their work he was instructed to do a self babtism and offer himself and his work to God. It took him a while before he did it...he stalled and procrastinated and then finally surrendered. I did the same. But after I did it something shifted... it was like I was led to this job which was and is perfect for me...better in so many ways than anyting I could have come up with...I didnt even have a concept of paid vacations or insurance ect...AND It felt effortless how it came about. I never would have looked here for work if it werent for what happened at the Babtism....

I'm not a babtismy kind of guy or "Christian" per se but this just made sense... Its just between me and God and not anny churchy trappings or control . Michael actually had a beef with how Church and denominations misuse Babtism...Its not for anyone to tell you who dose and dose not belong to God. We are all Gods. I love how that has two meanings I didnt meaan that...or maybe I did.

I just knew I wanted to "officially" in my own way give myself to God and offer me to be of service. This was simple and solo and outdoors .

SSSooo the Babtism is just done by yourself (with a bottle of wine-not injested- and A big bowl that you wash your hands and feet in )... when you have a bit of time in the morning and midday... Anyway I'll explain it more when I find the book. Really, understanding what I do now, I could have done anything with the intent of offering myself to God and to be of service and i think It would Be just as valid and Majical and true.

I'll still give you the outline of how Michael instructed Bob as a starting point ... if it interests you or anyone else. Bob Crane was the guy (the ghost? writer was Gary Hardin?) and the booK is "On the wings of heaven" ? I think.

I hope I dont sound pesumptious with this...the where to go, what to do, something needs to change was exactly where I was at when I did this... and ironicaly I was there again a few weeks ago before writing Grace and going to the ME thing. Maybe I need to "recommit" myself ....before someone else dose ? Maybe its time for me to do a Level II babtism...Hmmmmm.

Talk later.
Blake

wow, thanks Blake
funny thing was i was going for a walk... my duplex was being shown... it's for sale.
anyhow... i was thinking god... it would brobly do me some good to have a little structure and stability in my life, as i have like you always felt... Like hell am i ever gonna be boxed in or control..
honestly... that hasn't been working all that well for me
soo, i got myself feeling really overwhelmed... and got on tristans case as soon as he walked in the door... and my goodness i was like what the heck was that (said that to myself) and went and sat and had a smoke.. and prayed i guess... talking to god, my higher self...WHATEVER
and keep in mind i was avoiding asking my dad for help... cuz darn-it i am gonna do this on my own.. no help from no one...
mind you in the past... it would be asking help so that i could patch up the spots... cuz this time i would try harder
well.. i have decided...(although kind of apprehensive on it... more like nervouse and scared) to move back to my home town where my dad is and accept his help... and apply for a mill job..
my dad has worked at this saw mill for 30+ yrs.. good chance at getting on...
anyhow... my way of thinking has not changed all of these yrs.. and i have been fighting life..
and i read in a book once... one of Neal Donald Walshs books
that life=god
freedom=god
love =god

i think thats all of them
and as i was walking... i realized i have been fighting all of these things
really only bound by my own chains

so my way of seeing things
and blaming the whole entire world
and determined i had to do it myself...
another way of putting it... i am seperate, and i am gonna get whats mine.... well... hasn't worked very well

however since i have been back from my walk...
and even as i write this.. fears come up
and my head starts talking at me.. where i will stay here and just try harder... or do the same thng but differently
like come on.. how much longer do i want to torture myself

anyhow...
don't know if it is right or wrong... but it is useful
so thats all that matters

man-o-man
i went over the moduales i was on... and changed some
but i have been on the breakthrogh to enlightenment mod, and deserving module
and holy cow the description in them of what they target are soooooo, happening for me..
wow

i was very shocked
now it is the attitude of mine that needs some adjusting

however perfect i am now... an attitude of gratitude is alot more useful...
and i have often struggled with accessing gratitude

perhaps my view of the world and thinking it is against me... or that everyone else has it better... or what about me...
although better... my ego loves those ones...
those perceptions

and one other thing i want to say is that.. being afraid of what other will think of me if i don't measure up

measure up to what, and for who..
this would fit into my fear of working at mcDonalds...
but i don't have to ... cuz i am smart, and capable...
however i am sure i could find the willingness if i had too.
ok, fine i would if it came to that... talk about how strong stigmas are
geesh

Grace would you do correction on the mcdonalds issue
just kidding

as having said all of this... we will see what happens...
my ego and it's need to do the same thing over again and expecting different results...
well thats insane

ok, starting to ramble..
gonna go now
bye
Adrienne

PS. Blake no i don't think you have done the YO ADRIENNE thing befor..

[Adrienne]

ok hello

ok feeding time is over...
my god this is a wrench in the mental box i have created...
yikes...
holy crap
i have been crying all day...
and i accepted help and i will be taking my driving test...
i am so releived and grateful, i have been working my butt off with the driving...
I am freaked at the thought of moving...
i have been in this place for 9.5 yrs
this is my home
this has been my place of security
lately the energy here has changed... the energy in my life...
things just feel different
i asked for this too...
whatever it is gonna look like... who knows...
i am back soo soon, cuz i am kinda freakin...
scared of if this is the right decision... have to still talk with my dad about it... well more like let him know.
and give my notice... but the fear is almost consuming.

like if i could find the ideal spot and stay there for ever and ever... i would be so thrilled.
but change is really the only thing thats is constant..
i don't like change.
anyways
gonna go now...
bye
A

[timh651]

interested in paths

I'm interested in paths but I use a mac mini with G4 processor and safarri as a web browser. Does anyone know if the paths theator will work with my equipment? Because I would hate to sign up for it and then not be able to use it.

[Pamela]

Try Project One World first...

Hi Tim,

I just saw your post, so I thought I would pop in to help you out.

I don't believe there will be any problem at all with viewing your PATHS Theatre on your Mac, but just to be sure, why not start out by signing up for the FREE Project One World module first? There IS a 60 day money back guarantee no matter what, but checking it out this way first will save you any time and trouble in the unlikely chance that it doesn't work on your computer! Also, this way you will have a chance to see what it's like to view a module!

Let us know if you have any other questions, okay?

With Much Love and Gratitude,

Pamela