I've been asked by people who have only met me in the last year or so, if I've ever been fed up and lost faith. I've decided to share the posts below with you (which I posted on a forum in 2006) because sometimes it makes a big difference to hear someone else's story, who has been rock bottom, and then come out the other end (so to speak lol). I must point out that this was in the middle of all my efforts at Self Development, including The Secret, Visualisations, Powerful Intentions, EFT, Holosync, .... and a lot of other stuff.

If I can get from there to where I am now, so can you.
Sorry about the length of the post, but I hope it helps.
(I've just discovered it's too long for one post, so I'll put it into four...)

Love and Light and Magic xxx

PS: The only things I've edited are the names of the other people who responded - I've changed their names to their initials for their own privacy. Otherwise, this is exactly what was posted.
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Illusions

can't anymore

I was going to post this in answer to a thread on The Secret forum, but then felt it might not be such a good idea, and I thought you guys would understand more.

Please understand, I hope I'm wrong about this, but I have yet to see any actual clear, obvious indication otherwise.

What if some of us decided (or rather the expanded self decided) that in this particular incarnation/ hologram experience, we would experience financial hardship - regardless. What if let's say my expanded self decided to play the game of red herrings and false hope (presumably very entertaining for my expanded self, but pretty sh***y for me - the conciousness I currently am - the character in this virtual reality game) What if, no matter what this character does, it'll never have what it wants because that's the game. That's what all evidence currently points to.

For example: people say don't give up. When a child learns to walk, when he falls down, he doesn't give up and just not learn to walk. He keeps trying until he walks. Here's the difference: we teach our children to walk by helping them and showing them exactly how. We don't give them obscure clues and false information and expect them to figure it out. We don't suggest they stand on their hands, or heads. We don't hold up cards with "fish" or "bread" or "twirl" written on them. And we don't hold our a hand, and then snatch it away. We don't push them over so they fall when they do manage to stand up.

There are many people who have managed to improve their finances - through a wide variety of methods. Just in these forums alone there is LOA, EFT, and of course BLFTMG, amongst so many others - and these methods have worked for many different people. But for many of us, none of these "work". We can have the same "blocks", the same "issues", the same "history", and trying just as hard, doing just as much as others, and we don't get the result.

I am tired of peddling now. I'm tired of being offered "life rafts" that sink. Tired of being pointed in a direction, following and trusting, only to find it's another dead end. I'm tired of believing and trusting "inspired thought", following it with inspired action, to find it's another red herring, only leading to another dead end, presumably purely for the entertainment of a game I have no concious memeory of agreeing to play.

Like in a computer game, where the person playing sends the character in the game into battles and on quests, for entertainment, and the character perhaps simply wants a nice quiet life at home with family, plenty of food and security, and keeps wanting that, and hoping and trusting that maybe if they try it this way, or win this battle, they'll get what they want. Because they've been led to believe that if they keep trying, they'll get what they want - and that they wouldn't have been given that desire unless they could achieve it. But what they don't know is that the constant battle and gettingupfallingdowngettingupfallingdowngettingupf allingdown is all part of the entertainment for the player. The character doesn't know that no matter how many times they get up they'll always fall down because that's part of the game.

I keeeeep picking myself up, trying everything I feel inspired to try, trustingtrustingtrusting, busting eggs, EFT, meditation, gratitude ..... you name it, and I have yet to see ANY indication of ANY financial result. Oh, sure there are the crumbs. I managed to get my rent by the skin of my teeth at the last minute last month, and I was so grateful. But see, I am sO grateful for the crumbs, I really am, but I would really really really like a crust - maybe even a slice some time. And I'm led to believe that not only is it possible for me to have a slice some time, but that I deserve it. But I've seen no evidence of that. Not a scrap.

I mean every - that's EVERY - hope that appears is false. And I know that some may think I must have beliefs that I will fail or beliefs that I will be given false clues and false hope - and that that creates the situations, but (well, I suppose without actually knowing me, it's difficult to understand) I really really really - I swear - believe and trust each and every time - I believe and trust "this is it, I've got it." I believe and trust I deserve it. I believe and trust if I have the desire, I must be able to do it. It's only after slapintheface after slapintheface after slapintheface that the evidence is overwhelming.

It's like Oliver, going up and asking for more - and really believing he can get it. Having been told "if you just ask and hold out your bowl, you'll get it" so he does that, and he gets sent away with an empty bowl. Then someone else suggests "but you need to you really believe you can have it, and try using this bowl." So he believes and trusts that. So up he goes again. Same result. Then someone else says "You have to visualise it, and feel good about it - try meditating on it" and so he does - with the same enthusiasm and belief and trust (perhaps even more - because this is something he hadn't tried before. It makes sense. It's bound to work) Again - same result - empty bowl. But because he really wants it, and he really believes and trusts, he keeps going over and over with the same enthusiasm, commitment, belief and trust. But unfortunately, the story is that he doesn't get more. So he can keep doing it until he grows old and dies. He'll never get it. Because that's not the story that was written for the entertainment of the reader.

After just too many of these - and absolutely no sign of a result, I am afraid I'm now just too broken. I have decided to stop. I'm sorry to spoil the entertainment for the player, but I just don't want to play anymore. I am now officially giving up. I don't know what I will do, but I will not keep rising to the bait. I am giving up my hopes of financial ..... well anything. I am giving up my hopes of a career in what I love and live for. I have no choice but to simply wait out the game. Well, let me re-phrase that - I do have a choice, but the choice is to continue in the same way - gettingupfallingdowngettingupfallingdown - with no real hope of breaking the pattern. Or at least saving myself the constant falls. If I stay down, I won't have so far to fall.

As I said before, I am so very grateful for the crumbs. But I guess I was led to believe I could have a bit more than that. At least if I resign myself to just scraping by on crumbs, it's better than false hope.

Posted by Illusions ; )
12/05/06 07:20 PM


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CB

aaahhhh sweetie. What happened? What happened honeypie?? sending you big love and big hugs and big positive energy right now.

your friend

C

Posted by CB
12/05/06 09:26 PM


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PA

Idon'tknowIdon'tknowIdon'tknowIIdon'tknowIdon'tkno wIdon'tknowIdon'tknowdon'tknowIdon'tknowIdon'tknow Idon'tknowIdon'tknow

I'msorryhoneyI'msorryhoneyI'msorryhoneyI'msorryhon eyI'msorryhoneyI'msorryhoneyI'msorryhoneyI'msorryh oneyI'msorryhoneyI'msorryhoney

And I'm holding you and I'm rocking and I'm patting your back.

I just posted on the secret forum about how people keep saying that if folks aren't getting their money they must have some vibration to clean up, some resistance. But that's just not true for 2 reasons.

1.) Everyone gets their 1st deliberate creations manifesting with resistance, without fully believing. And the showing up of the manifestations is what makes them really believe. So how can money not show up just because of some deep dark resistance? Why should it be harder? It shouldn't.

Second, and I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, just to show how it can come. I've intended more money and then when it showed up I was all about saying, hmmm, I don't deserve this, I should give some back, I must be ripping them off. So you don't have to be so vibrationally clean for money, just like you don't for all of the other stuff to show up.

So that's why the idon'tknow about your money.

What I do know is that your soul is not toying with you. Your soul is not having a party while you struggle. It's not some masochistic game with yourself.

And this is just where you were a few months back when this forum began.
So . . . so what? I just don't know why it is so hard for you. Can I call you? I think that perhaps there are more ways of figuring this out with real time and voices. I must have something figured out that I can't pull out here because my life was **** for a while there and with LoA it was just a consistently smoother ride up the mountain. No big blow-up like I keep reading others have. (except my BL moment! :-P ) Just steady improvement. Well, and some quantum leap ones. But all going up.

I do have a very finely tuned radar for out of alignment moments, words. I can detect the slightest 'headed in the wrong direction' word.

So, that's all I got baby. Can I help?

Love,

P

Posted by PA
12/06/06 01:47 AM


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PA

And I hold you in my heart in peace and in love and in knowing that all is well with you. My soul surrounds you with well being and with light. I believe in your power. I believe in your knowing.

P

Posted by PA
12/06/06 02:14 AM


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Illusions

C, P, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're here, and your responses are so appreciated.

P, thanks for the offer of a phone call. Unfortunately, I can't talk about this because of sobbing - can't get words out, so typing is the only way of communicating at the moment. As much as I'd love to hear your voice, I just broke down just reading your third sentence here, but maybe we could talk another time when I can. Thank you though.

C, in answer to your question of what happened.... well it's too much to go into in one sitting, but here's the abridged version:

Following a lifetime of financial falling down and picking myself up, I've just fallen down a few too many times, and this time, I feel like the rose-tinted glasses fell off as I fell, and I now see my delusion.

Very briefly, the key points:
I gave up my career in a profession that I love because of having to move countries, and not being able to make a living from it here. I was financially forced to, for the first time in my life, get a "real job"

Because of the way I am, although I cried my soul out for about three hours after making the decision, I then chose to focus on the positive aspects of this change, and to focus on finding the enjoyment in it. I became a "nine-to-five" person for the first time in my life. I chose to enjoy it, and really did. I was surprised at how well I did. I worked my way up from basic data entry - to running a department. I was very dedicated, worked extra hours and did more than I needed to, even though they don't pay overtime here. Because I had pride in my work, and loved it. (I had filed acting away in the back of my mind, and it was amazing - I did it so well that I didn't even miss it. I didn't think about it).

However. I was still in debt because of a custody situation, and past difficulties. The company refused to give me the raise I asked for - despite the fact that that was the going rate for others doing the same job. I got a Saturday job as well then, working in a shop for eight hours for minimum wage. Didn't help. Then a wonderful opportunity came along. A small business franchise, that many many many people were doing very well with. It's an established, good company. If you work hard, and follow the instructions, you can't help but make money. I started part-time. Seemed to go well. It made sense to leave the job and do it full time - I had "inspired thought" to do this, and all evidence and signs seemed to point towards it - as did logic - the more you do in this business, the more you earn. I focused on finding enjoyment in the work, as I had done with the other job. I trusted, believed my instinct. Gave up my full-time job and did my own business full-time. Worked hard. Followed the instructions. Cut a long story short: three years later, deeper in debt, no financial independence, barely scraping by.

I was convinced by someone close to me over a period of many months, to jump ship (thank goodness). So I eventually quit my drowning home business earlier this year.

I got an invitation to an online marketing seminar. Long story short - lots of people making lots of money as long as they follow the instructions exactly, work hard to set it up etc. Bought the website deal on credit - after much deliberating, working out, and question-asking. I then thought, well if they accept my credit rating (VERY unlikely in my situation) then it means I'm meant to do it. Please, higher self, if I'm not meant to do it, let them not accept it. They accepted it. No problem.

Got home. Got started IMEDIATELY. So excited. Loved working on the website. Followed absolutely every instruction, every bit of advice, asked for help from customer services, and on the forums. Worked fourteen hours a day to hone it and make the changes suggested. Followed alllllll the marketing instructions. In four months: not ONE order - NOT ONE. Not even one - not even a small one - against all odds. But I kept going, kept following advice from the experts - from the people who are making money from these websites. Then, after five months: One order. Yay!! So excited, so relieved - see, just trust. However, because the supplier had put up their prices, it ended up costing me more than the customer paid. ! So, currently now in extra debt to the website people on top of everything else. Website still there. Still no money from it.

Saw The Secret, felt I couldn't pretend to be a business woman anymore - realised that I am an actress - in my soul - it's not work I do, it's me.

Moved towns. Traumatic custody battle. Now unemployed single mum. Allllllllllllllllllllllllll this time with imense belief and trust in my higher self, the LOA, gratitude, visualisation, holosync, and my instincts. I have constantly seeked out and absorbed everything I can manage on self-developement etc.

In these months of being unemployed, I've resisted the urge to "hi-ho-silver" as is mentioned in "Excuse me your life is waiting" - I've resisted the urge to try and just fix the situation by getting an office job to try and earn money - I've trusted that the Universe will deliver. I've trusted that when action needs to be taken, I will feel it. I've trusted that if I have this imense desire to restart my acting career, it must mean I can. I got an agent, had new photos done, and responded to every acting job posted online that matched my profile. The agent hasn't sent me for anything, and hasn't even answered my enquiry as to how it's going.

A few months ago I had a burst of inspiration to sell some of my stuff (especially products from my old home business - good products) at a car boot sale. Did all the research as I hadn't done one before, borrowed a van, went to a busy carboot sale in the centre of town, got there early, set up. Made about £9. Went home with a van full of stuff. Happened to be the one Sunday it was painfully quiet. Hardly any people. No-one knew why.

Amongst the many attempts at making money online, got an ebook website - followed all instructions, followed instinct, loved working on it, spent a lot of time on it. To date, probably about $6 made from it. (I paid $29 for it)

Wrote my own ebook - so proud of it, to help parents. Have had a wonderful response from the couple of people who read it. A child professional said it would be helpful for a lot of people. Followed advice on marketing it. Did everything I could. Told everyone about it. I was so excited about it - convinced that it would, not only do well and I could make something from it, but that it would help so many parents and children and make a difference in the world because of those children growing up with a whole different and positive experience.

Did everything I felt inspired to do. Dropped the price to $2.50 - with a money-back guarantee. To date I have sold 3, and given a few away. Sent it to two publishers - thought that maybe it was because I was meant to have it published in hard copy. Too short. (the whole point of the book is that it's short, so can't really extend it).

Wrote a screenplay - inspired I must add. I've never had an urge to write a screenplay before. This came out of nowhere, and it was as if it was writing itself. Took about 10 months to write it in between all the other stuff going on. Had inspiration of who to send it to about eight months ago. Sent it. Nothing.

Had an inspiration - a wonderful excitement the other day. Reminder wristbands for LOA - I have wanted one for a while - like the Livestrong ones. I wanted one that says "Feel Good. The Secret" to remind me during the day whenever I see it, to check how I'm feeeeeling. Thought others might like the idea as well.

So excited - felt like guidence because I then thought I could donate $1 from each wristband to Litteracy Claus for getting The Secret to hurricane Katrina survivors. So excited. Posted a message on the PI forum to see if anyone would be interested. I had looked a while ago, for wristband suppliers, but couldn't find one that did less than a minimum of 500, and was in the UK, and didn't charge too much, and could deliver quickly. Just thought I'd follow my instinct this time again, did another search. A company came up that hadn't come up before. Met all of the criteria. Minimum order 250 etc. I worked out how much it would cost, and that it was viable to send them from here to people in the USA and still keep the cost down. So excited. Posted. People showed interest. The company said if I ordered immediately they could deliver by the 12th Dec. In time for stocking fillers. Some Katrina people could get The Secret in time for the new year.

Then found out, I'd need permission from The Secret to use the name. And that PI are going to be doing wristbands themselves. Emailed The Secret to ask permission. No reply. Now too late to get wristbands for Christmas, and if PI are going to do them, not much point in me doing them as well. Thought, oh well, I'll just buy one of those, and maybe something else will come up for the Literacy Claus people.

In the background: overdue bills, threatening letters and calls from creditors (all of whom I have contacted and made arrangements to pay token payments to, but some of whom insist on trying to bully me into paying more of what I don't have), insurance for loan payments refusing to accept my job application attempts because they are via email and not snail mail, and refusing to accept that, as an actress you don't get "no thank you letters" if you don't get the job you just don't hear from them. (they want proof I'm trying to get work)

Lots of scary financial stuff that I am not focusing on, and just trusting will be okay, and just keep feeling grateful and visualising and feeling good and focusing on what I want, and act when inspired. I buy a lottery ticket every week, just in case. Each time it doesn't win (and I mean I haven't even won the smallest prize for.....- I think I won £10 once - about three months ago) I feel, oh well, that wasn't it this time. Next time. The idea is that it's a gateway for money to come if that's the route it's going to come. I see it as another line in the pond, and it doesn't matter if the fish doesn't take that line, there are other lines, some of which I may not even know of. And I focus on feeling good, visualising etc.


Continued below due to length restrictions on post.....

Continued from above.....

This thursday gone: online job ad for a commercial in London. Paying £700. Fits my profile. The dates are incredible - either side of my son's Christmas celebration. Callback monday, son's do on tuesday, rehearsals for this job wed, thurs and friday. Didn't know where I would stay in London if I got it, but trusted that the Universe would provide if I got the job.

Furthermore, I've worked with one of the people before, and they say I don't have to do the general audition because they know what I can do, just do the callback. Book coach ticket to London - pay £17. Leave at 5am. Four hour coach trip. Get there. Do audition, really enjoyed it. Great people. I surprised myself and did better than I thought. So happy. Still didn't know where I would stay in London if I got it, but trusted that the Universe would provide if I got the job. Then, before leaving London, a friend reminds me his sister lives in London and has a spare room, and I could stay there. Wow. I'm amazed at how perfectly it all works out. How thrilled I am that my trust in the Universe is paying off. The one thing that was slightly worrying me in the back of my head had been where I would stay, and now, poof - there's the answer. Wow.

Didn't hear from them that afternoon. Assumed I hadn't got the job as they said they would call that afternoon if I had. Worked on focusing on "this or something better. If I haven't got it, it's okay, there'll be a reason. There'll be something else. There'll be something better." And let it go. Difficult because feeling a tendency toward disspointment. But then did the egg-busting process, and then focused on happy thoughts. Next day (yesterday) - they call! Wow, I think I got it after all. You see, just got to trust. They take a long time to get to the point - chatty. Then... sorry you didn't get it this time." I say no problem, do keep me in mind for future, thanks so much for letting me know... etc. Hmmmmm. Okay. Deal with it. Process. Reason. All for the best. etc etc etc.

Then, I open my post - bills, threatening letters - the usual. Then.... a voucher. $100 to play in an online casino. No deposit necessary. Just download, join and play. Terms and conditions etc. Just play through so many times etc. I think. ahhh, isn't that sweet, the Universe has sent me a cheerer upper. Maybe I'll win. Play. nothing. believe. nothing. visualise. use instinct to choose game. even little meditation. follow instinct. ..... gone.

There is so much else, but this is already obviously so long. There really are so many many examples like these.

It's not the not getting the job. It's not the not winning in the casino (it was playing with free money anyway). It's not the not winning anything in the lottery. It's not the not making money from the online businesses, or the book, etc. It's the message that I'm getting from it all. It's the constant "inspirations, clues, signs, sometimes that seem so obvious - like flashing neon signs saying come this way, do this" - and then leading me into a brick wall or pit of darkness and nothingness. It's the false promises. The false clues, the red herrings. And I'm tired and I don't believe anymore. I can't trust. It's unreliable. Anything I feel from my higher self is just not reliable.

And after all this time of trusting and bouncing back, I really can't see any other explaination other than I'm just not meant to have what I thought I could. And if I've interpretted the message incorrectly (although the evidence seems overwhelming) then I need the code!

Amongst my dreams - that I really trusted and believed were possible because the desire is so strong and the instinct is so strong, and I've been led to believe we can have anything we want if we believe it, accept it, and follow our instincts: To have enough money to enjoy life with my family and friends, help my family financially, give my son the best possible start financially, visit my mum, start a pariticular charity project, and have some fun. And ... To become a successful film actress, doing great work, and enjoying every second of it, working with wonderful people on incredible projects. And... getting my information on parenting to the people who it could help, changing the prospects of some of those children - helping to change who they become as adults.

Those are the dreams I thought I could have. But you know, I've seen not a shred of evidence. It seems it's all only smoke and mirrors. I've seen no concrete result of any indication that any of that is possible, despite my incredible efforts, belief and trust.

The only conclusion I am left with is, it's just not my story. Maybe in a previous life I was wealthy, did have the career I wanted etc. and maybe I still have a feeling from that that it's possible. But that was that story, and now I'm in a different story. And maybe this one is .... well... like this.

But if I agreed to play this game this way, I've changed my mind now. I don't want to any more. The only thing I can think of now is to litterally sit it out. Concentrate on supporting and nurturing my son. Hope that financially... well, yeah, I don't know. I guess I have to just wait and see. I'm going to find out about getting a job in a shop with hours that allow me to take and fetch my son from school (if I can find one like that) because I know any venture I try working from home or self-employed, well I can't trust it anymore. If I'm not meant to succeed, I can waste my life trying and never do it, or I can just accept that's the way it is, and focus on making the best of it I can as it is.

It feels soul-destroying, and, given my financial history, I don't really believe a job will help, but I can't think of anything else. And at least if I accept the situation - even though it's heart-breaking. Maybe the next time 'round I'll choose a better senario.

Thank you so much for your support here. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have this opportunity to talk it out with wonderful people who understand. You have been invaluable to me.

Love xxx

Posted by Illusions ; )
12/06/06 06:47 AM

I read everything you posted from 2006 but what is the rest of the story....the successes you may have had since being on Paths or any other change in your life for the better? I've read many of your replies before and you seem to be very knowledgable about many things. That wisdom and knowledge should have led you to successes in your life. Being on Paths has made my life a lot better (even though some people believe Paths uses the placebo effect). Placebo or not, it is still working. I thought as I was reading about your past challenges that there would be an update of a breakthough. I have felt the bewilderment of going down paths that seemed to work for others but left my life as it was (financially, not in a good place). But, through all the discourging false information I've believed, I'm still left with my basic faith in my God, who has always been truthful to me and ever so gentle. ( I haven't been able to accept that I'm God as some people say is suppose to be true......I'm a part of God because I was created but there is One who is greater than this spirit in this body). Anyway, I do hope your life has changed for the better and your dreams are coming true.

Hi Rhozzi and Lama

Thanks v much for your comments.

The rest of the story is: EFT, Paths, The Magic Pill and Ho'oponopono - in that order. After I'd posted the posts above in 2006, someone very kindly invited me to receive free EFT coaching. I'd tried EFT on my own before, but had no success with it at all. With help though, I cleared a few blocks and it got me to get up one last time. But EFT, although it helped me feel better in myself, didn't make any difference to my financial patterns and the cycle of failure etc.

Then I heard about Paths - I read a loooooong thread on it, and I was determined to use it. I had the exact amount for a one module theatre in my bank account - but that was All the money I had!! And that was earmarked to pay my electricity bill. I had no spare income at all - with the little I had coming in, I couldn't even cover my rent and bills - nowhere near!

I made the decision to buy the one module theatre instead of pay my electricity bill. I can't tell you just how scary that was lol. But I was sO excited and it felt right. I also figured that that money could pay my electricity bill, but what about the other bills, and what about next month?
Whereas if Paths helped to solve my financial issues, then I'd have more than enough money for the electricity and the other bills.

I started on the Business module because I thought if I can increase my income, then that will pay for Paths and of course get me out of my financial quagmire. The first thing I noticed was that, having had Fibromyalgia for about three or four years, and not slept for more than about 40 minutes to an hour at a time (very very little deep sleep), I slept deeply each night, and only woke up twice during the night! (My Fibromyalgia is now completely gone - I used the Pain module for about two months last year, and I've not had any symptoms since!)

About a week or two after starting with Paths, I came up with the thinking behind The Magic Pill. The basis of this is that Self Esteem is at the root of EVERYTHING. If I was blocking financial abundance, I couldn't possibly have High Self Esteem, (a great shock to me as I'm an actress for goodness sake Self Esteem and Confidence are kinda a pre-requisite!) I was sure I had high Self Esteem, but my sister pointed out, if you have High Self Esteem, why aren't you allowing financial abundance.

SO..... I switched the Business module for the Self Esteem one... and that's when I started to see very interesting results. A few weeks later, I had had enough unexpected money come in to enable me to add another couple of modules (one of them, a gift out of the blue from my sister ).

I added the Successful Living Module - and THAT was when the fireworks started happening.

The synchronicities are too many and too detailed to go into in this one post, but if you'd like to hear them, I'm happy to write them in another post. The most Incredible and UNLIKELY synchronicities (that I would never had dreamt possible) led to two theatre gigs paying £100 each for one performance, and a 26 episode voice-over job paying £100 per HOUR!! - which in the end took 23 hours over a period of, I think it was 2 or3 of months!

Before I heard about the voice-over job, Paths had announced their first conference - it was to be in Vegas in June. I live in the UK, but I was determined to be there. By this time I had become an Affiliate for Paths because it was just so Impressive; and my sister (along with a couple of her friends, an ex-boyfriend, current partner and his two daughters), my partner and my son had all joined and were also enjoying great results (my sister went from being so stressed she sometimes couldn't get out of bed in the morning because of being overwhelmed by a decision she had to make about a property, not knowing how to do it - to making £142 000 on the same property after turning it from an 8 bedroom house into 5 apartments - in 6 Weeks!!!!
She had also suffered, for most of her life, from severe clinical depression. She was to take medication for the rest of her life. She came off the medication within, I think it was about 2 months of starting the Mood Elevator module and has never needed the medication since!!)

I had no idea how we'd get to Vegas (I'd decided my partner, who had also now become an affiliate, and my son (10 years old) would come with me) but I trusted that a way would be made, between the Self Esteem module, and the Successful Living module in particular.
My father lives in Vegas and had only ever seen my son once, for three days when my son was 7.

It was going to cost around £2000 for us to go - including airfares and spending money for 2 weeks. The conference was only for a few days, but we would go early to spend time with my fater.
Well, it was soon after I made that decision that I heard about the Voice-Over job - which was paying the amount we needed!!!

I then heard that I'd only get the payment three months after the job was over. But that was when my sister completed the deal on the house - in the nick of time, and very kindly lent us the money so we could book our flights (I think it was about a week before we left!!) and could pay her back when I got paid from the Voice Over. It all fell into place perfectly!!!

We had the most FABULOUS time in Vegas - being with my father and family was Magical, we had enough spending money to do some really fun stuff as a family, like Indoor Sky-diving and a breakfast horse-ride through red rock canyon. The Paths conference was Incredible - I can't put into words just how it felt to meet, in person, the Wonderful people we'd only ever spoken to online. Aaron and Kevin shared so much with us, and.... well, I know there's a lot of detail on the conference elsewhere in the forums lol.

I'm still not rolling in money (yet ) but I've never been back to where I was when I posted the posts above. It did get tight again, and I happened to have discovered Ho'oponopono earlier last year, but the results were inconsistant and I didn't really understand it. A few months ago, I swapped out one of my modules (I now have 4 plus a Platinum) for the Ho'oponopono module, went back to the Ho'oponopono website and re-read the information - and suddenly it all made PERFECT sense to me!!! Using that has been completely Miraculous.

So, where am I now? I'm HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY I'm getting back into my acting work (unlikely opportunities have come up for me from unexpected places). Financially it's still a bit tight, but I'm not in the quagmire I was in before - and it's getting better. I know I've cleared a lOt of financially limitting beliefs and patterns with Paths and Ho'oponopono. I'm loving working from home. I love being with my family. And I love watching more and more synchronicities and Magic happening consistantly.

So, going back to my reasons for posting this thread: I know that many many people (more than we'll ever know) who are really down, really suffering, and have lost all faith, read posts in these forums but will never post themselves, and I wanted to give the message that no matter how bad it feels, there IS hope - keep peddalling - you're not alone! And do post for help if you can - the support you get will make all the difference.

Love and Light and Magic xxx

Sweet Pamela, thank you So much for being in my life! I feel constantly conected to you, and that is such a gift to me! xxxxx

Grace, I can't thank you enough! Your post has filled me with so much "warm fuzzy" I'm floating four inches above the floor!

How spot-on you are with what you've said here (and what you always say).

"...because the game is always fun, unless it's not." heh heh I love this - and of course, it's absolutely true!

Thank you so much for adding your wisdom to this - I know that my posts will give comfort to those who are going through similar feelings, but yours give the supportive solutions and a new way of looking at life.

I love you more than you'll ever know Grace.
Thank you for You. xxxxxxxx

Gracie you've explained the name thing quite well for me. I remember when we first knew Odille (Illusions) through the powerful intentions forum (before this one existed). She had two parts to her user name, I think it was "Grand Illusions" or something like that. After we started PATHS and she started the PATHS section within powerful intentions and so much good started happening, we were all like "Odille you need to change that user name - there are no illusions about how well things are going for you!"

I wanted her to pick "Reality is and Illusion" or something like that for her new name but she felt perfect about just dropping the "Grand" part.

I finally get it

XO Jessica