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It's OK to feel bad!!!!

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  • It's OK to feel bad!!!!

    Hi Everyone,
    I have had a wild journey since I have joined this forum. It is the only forum of this nature that I am a member of. I would like to share an article with you from this woman name Lola Jones. I am taking her online course for Divine Openings. It is unbelievable and falls in line with what Grace is always saying to us about being whole and perfect all the time. I hope you enjoy it.

    It's OK To Feel Bad!!!

    Alright, I just have to say it.

    The popular personal and spiritual development movement has given
    us the silly idea that one day we'll get to a place where we never,
    ever again have to feel bad..... that one day we are beyond and
    above feelings. That one day we are "healed," done, perfect.

    That will never happen....

    .... but for different reasons than you perhaps think.

    People who experience Divine Openings do get very happy and free.
    They come to feel better than they've ever felt, more of the time.
    But they still feel.
    Feelings are incredibly valuable information.
    How else would you know if you were off course?
    How would you know it was time to change something?

    How else would you know which way to go?

    You want to go toward what feels good and away from what feels bad, like when you put your hand on a hot stove.

    Would you turn off the smoke alarms, or have someone come remove them from your house because they hurt your ears?
    Would you tape over the red light on your car's instrument panel? Would you smash your compass because it says you're headed the wrong way???

    Your feelings are your smoke alarm, your red light, your compass... your instrument panel reading on where you are headed.
    Listening to them now prevents the escalated physical problems and
    manifestations that follow.

    You always want to feel your feelings - not cover up, ignore, clear, cleanse, "heal them," or make them go away!
    Most people label some feelings good and some bad.
    They're all good.
    They need to be understood and listened to.
    Most people can't read them accurately, or numbed out or stopped listening because it was too overwhelming.

    Divine Openings shows you how to understand their true meaning, and
    experience them ALL as Divine Energy.

    And most importantly, to move emotions, even surf them!

    Here's the best news. When you are flying in the high vibrations
    most of the time, even a little dip will feel really bad, and you will
    make adjustments FAST because of it! Then you'll be back up in the
    high altitudes.

    Feeling bad will indeed come to be unacceptable to you.
    But you will listen to it and thank it, and you will change, and then outer circumstances will follow and change ....
    without work, without fixing, without resisting it.

    And when you can use your instrument panel readings to navigate in this way -- you can go anywhere you want to go.

    Marnyka Z. Buttry
    Divine Openings Giver & Healer

  • #2
    Hi Marnyka

    Thanks for posting this - excellent points!

    What I've found is that, because most of us are raised to:

    a) hide "negative" feelings
    b) force ourselves to go through with things even when we don't feel good about them (struggle, "work hard", "toughen up" etc.)

    we AUTOMATICALLY ignore our emotional warning system without even being aware of it, and we Automatically self-sabotage, without being aware of it.

    Being trained to hide our feelings results in a wide variety of issues, including resentment, anger issues, manipulation, passive aggression etc.

    Being trained to ignore our warning system and "struggle through" anyway, develops another variety of issues which can include: a tendancy to self sabotage, a fear of "becoming lazy", GUILT (big time!!).

    A few years ago, I had a business which I was running from home with my partner. No matter how hard we worked (and we worked Extreemly hard!) we couldn't get the business beyond a struggling level. Financially we were sinking fast. But having both been raised with a strong "work ethic" and having been programmed with the belief that you have to "work hard" to get anywhere etc. as the going got tougher, we only pedalled harder!

    My sister (wise creature that she is!) eveeeeeentually (after many, many attempts) convinced me to just STOP! I was scared - how could I just stop?? What about.... and what about..... and what about.....

    "Outside circumstances" finally conspired to force me to move from the town I was living in, and I moved myself and my son to stay with my sister in a MUCH more relaxed town. I couldn't convince my partner - the program running in him of working till you drop was still running full blast. The fear that is programmed into so many of us that if you stop pedalling, you'll fall over, was still running the show. The powerful training to ignore the emotional warning system was not budging!

    So we agreed that I would move, with my son; and my partner would join us when he was able to move the business to the new town.

    When I arrived in Gloucester, my sister told me I was not to do anything except what felt good. No looking for work or ways to earn money, no housework, no cooking etc. I was to only have fun with my son, sleep whenever I felt sleepy, read, watch t.v., play computer games - in other words, be as "lazy" as possible!

    Now, of course, like most of us, I was programmed with beliefs like "But if I just watch t.v., read, sleep and play all day...
    * How am I ever going to earn money/ get anywhere
    * I'm going to become lazy and never want to do anything again

    Here's the truth:

    * There's a difference between watching T.V. or reading or playing computer games out of boredom and/or depression.... and doing those things because they feeeeel good at the time. If all you feel like doing is watching a program on t.v. that feels good, then there is a good chance your mind and/or body need some time out to process/heal ... or even that there will be something that you gain from the information/inspiration you receive by watching that program at that time - there are infinite possibilities. If it FEELS GOOD, then it's what you NEED at that time.

    * Watching T.V, all day (if that's what feels good) will only feel good for a while - we are not designed to be that static forever. Once the recovery is complete, we start feeling an itch to do something else.

    This is like REHAB for those of us (which I believe is MOST of us!) who have been trained and programmed to disregard our emotional warning system and "work", "struggle", "suffer", pack our bags and go on guilt trips whenever we do something "lazy".....

    It was a peculiar few weeks for me. I had an overwhelming urge to "do", and it was an excellent excercise to practise breaking that mold. There was a combination of automatic urge to "do" and delicious relief in reminding myself (and being reminded by my sister) that I don't *have* to do anything. This was REHAB!! Cold Turkey for an addiction to struggle and suffering! lol.

    So, I read a lOt, I slept a lOt, and I watched uplifting, enspiring stuff on T.V. - some really great Oprah and Dr. Phil shows (I was only interested in the positive ones), lOts of comedy programs and movies, played computer games.... And I spent Wonderful, Delicious time with my son. I did whatever I feeeelt like doing at the time.

    I slooooowly started to relax, and to really sink into the feeling of "I don't *have* to do anything!"

    I also began to notice the subtle feeling of not wanting to do something. It surprised me just how subtle it was! For example, I'd decide I was going to play a computer game, and since I'd decided to do that, I'd usually just go ahead and do it... but sometimes I'd notice a faaaaint feeling of resistance,... so I'd decide to read... the same feeling.... then watch t.v..... same feeling... and I'd feel an irritability, a listlessness of "I don't know what I want to do!" I eventually learned that this was when I needed to sleep! - even right in the middle of the day - and THAT was exactly what I needed.

    There were times when I just felt irritable, or sad, or restless for "no apparant reason", so I'd stop whatever it was I was doing, and "wear" the decisions to do different things until something felt good.

    After a period of time (can't remember now how long it was), I started to feel inspiration. I began to WANT to do certain things that "needed" to be done, and it felt good! My Rehab session was complete.

    I found a house of my own, and eveeeeeeeeeeeentually (and it took a lOt of doing) persuaded my partner to jump ship from the rapidly sinking business before his eyebrows went under the water lol, and move to where we were.

    That's when HIS Rehab started. By then I'd found Paths, so my firm instructions to him were:
    * Watch Paths every second day
    * NO WORK
    * NO looking for work
    * NO looking for ways of earning money
    * ONLY do what feeeeels good at the time: watch T.V., read, sleep, play, go for walks, socialise etc.
    * Learn to identify the feeeeling of not wanting to do something. Learn to notice the subtle changes in feelings as you wear the decision to do something, and then change it to something else.

    It took him quite a long time to get out of the feeling of guilt for not doing anything to bring in money, but we treated it like an addiction - like he was going through "cold turkey" for suffering, struggle and hard work lol

    And he slooooooly began to relax. It took him a bit longer than it took me, but he did it!!

    The Self Esteem Paths module did absolute Wonders to make the process easier - we're both certain that had he not been watching the Self Esteem module, he may never have broken that pattern as it was sooooo incredibly powerfully etched into him!

    Then, not only did he start to feel better (physically, emotionally and mentally), but he began to create the most incredible synchronicities (with the help of the Successful Living modules) for things that he loves doing. Instead of looking for "work" to do in order to earn money, he became inspired while doing what he felt like doing at the time (watching t.v. playing computer games etc.), and he'd follow that inspiration. He started meeting people in social situations, who led to contacts for things he was interested in. And he's ended up doing things he enjoys - and earning money at the same time, rather than forcing himself to get up in the morning to do hard struggle work in order to barely get by, based on a fear of falling over if he stops pedalling.

    A few months after I'd completed my Rehab, my sister forgot her own advice lol, and was stressing about work she had and felt she didn't know what to do. She felt she HAD to do something, but was overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. And none of it felt good, but she was forcing her way through....

    I reminded her of her own advice - STOP! And only do what feeeels good. If nothing feels good, then do nothing!! Sleep, read, watch T.V., play, SLEEP some more!

    She said to me "But I must ....." and I said "You don't must! You don't "must" anything!" She laughed at this and it was a funny little phrase - a reassuring one, that we both used at times when we felt guilt or overwhelmed... "I don't must anything!"

    So my sister STOPPED, and only did what felt good. She watched her Paths modules (several times a day lol), slept (a lOt), played computer games and watched children's cartoons on T.V.

    As many of you know, she then went on to make 140 000 a couple of months later, on that very project she was stressing over.

    I now no longer force myself to do anything (unless it is genuinely unavoidable - but I make sure I'm honest with myself as to whether that's the case)

    .... hmmm, okay, thinking that through - I do catch myself forcing myself to do things that I don't feel like doing sometimes, but I'm aware of it now, and I then Stop.

    Very often we say "I must ....." and the truth is we:

    a) would feel guilty if we don't do ...
    b) believe that OTHERS think we must do ....
    c) are on automatic and haven't really thought it through as to whether we really "must" or not (habit)
    d) haven't considered that if we let ourselves off the hook right now, indulge ourselves (genuinely and without guilt) we will probably feel much more like doing whatever it is later or tomorrow.

    Here are some tips for Self Sabotage REHAB:

    * Pick one day when you're not at work, and don't make any specific plans. Decide you're going to do only what you feeeel like doing that day.

    This may sound easy enough.... BUT.... be vigilant for those thoughts of "I should..." "I must...." etc. and when they come up, say to yourself - Out loud! - "I don't must anything!" Reeeally try to feeeeel what feels good to do - and be aware it does not have to fit into anyone else's idea of what "should" feel good! It doesn't have to be spiritual. It only has to feel good. If it feels good to play a computer game where you're shooting baddies all day - Do That!!! If it feels good to watch movies, do that.

    Your Emotional Guidance System will lead you to do whatever you need to be doing at that time that will free your subconscious to process what it needs to... that will free your mind and body to recover and rejuvenate... that will allow you to drop the current resistance to what you want.... and so much more we may not even imagine!

    * Decide to give yourself at least a week to do as you please (of course, if you HAVE to work, do, but make the decision to really be honest with yourself about what you really HAVE to do. And when you're not working - do what you damn well feel like doing!). Treat yourself as you would a dear friend who's been going through a rough time and is feeling guilty - placate and reassure yourself and give yourself permission to do only what feels good.

    * When you don't feel good - if you feel irritable, tired, restless.... whatever it is... STOP! Stop at once, and tune into it. Then try on different decisions. Decide to watch T.V. for a bit, and see how that feels. Decide to make yourself a cup of tea and read a book, and see how that feels. Decide to go for a walk and see how that feels. Decide to go to sleep for a bit and see how that feels.... and remind yourself "I don't must anything!" The Law of Attraction is about how you FEEL not about what you do, so if you think you "must" and you therefore "do" and you don't feel good, your "doing" is not getting you what you want anyway - in fact it's more likely to be getting you what you DON'T want because your Emotional Warning System is setting off alarms that that's not the thing to be "doing" right now! Your SAT-NAV is saying "Turn around as soon as possible."

    Have a SHINY Day
    Love and Light and Magic xxx
    Reprogram Your Subconscious to Achieve Conscious Goals. Now you can try PATHS for Free!
    Please pop in to my new: Law of Attraction Tools Blog - It would be Wonderful to see you there!
    Free Trial - Bob Proctor Coaching Program


    • #3
      Marnyka and Illusions!

      First of all it never ceases to amaze me the Power of One. Marnyka, your post is powerful, and it attracted the Powerful Illusions to reply! Both your posts are invaluable, and I hope that the whole forum reads these powerful messages!

      I feel inspired to say the same thing, just in different words. This way we can reach the whole.

      The Mind you have is the Whole Mind, the Mind of God. The perception of separation is what is called the ego/mind. this is a projection and not the truth of your being. As we collectively project the physical, in this physical Universe, is still the whole mind of God. There is only ONE. This is why through the projected physical body we can receive the Truth. With muscle testing we by pass the ego/mind and receive the Truth . Within the light of the body is the Truth. With muscle testing this Truth is accessed, because the ego/mind is out of the picture. The Truth always leads to peace, love and joy.

      People often ask me what is Love. the best way I can describe Love is in the Trinity. What I mean is, like the trinity, God, Christ consciousness, the voice for god (the holy spirit)is Love, to bring it further into understanding, Love would be described as Attention, Affection, and Appreciation for yourself and others.

      The physical body is a tool, created to enable us to perceive the perfected state. This perfected state is a perception. Perception is a creation of the ego, but in letting go and letting God perceive for us, we see the truth. we see that through our physical feelings we know. We know what the truth is. Our thoughts create. But our bodies feel. The truth is always in what our body is feeling. The ego/mind will lie to us, but our body (feelings) will always tell us the truth. Following the truth will set us Free. We will feel the freedom of the truth.

      Because we perceive separation we deny the truth, we deny our feelings. This inevitably leads to pain and suffering. Even if we were washed away in a tidal wave, we would still feel bliss if we connected with our true feelings. There is nothing but Love (Truth). Love is Peace and Bliss.

      I am in constant Peace, but when I fall into anything less, I immediately remember the truth. It "FEELS" off, and so I KNOW! I make corrections, and move on to Bliss once again!! It does not matter what challenges are facing me, I am at Peace once again! But the Feelings make it Real! The Feelings let me know where I am.

      I thank you Marnyka and Illusions for these invaluable posts!

      For a private session with me go to:



      • #4
        Adding to the discussion

        Hello Marnyka, Illusions and Grace!

        As someone who has spent most of her life forming thoughts about the future and then taking mental/emotional trips to live there for a while, your words really resonated with me.

        All of us, at one point or another, have given into the "illusions" and their corresponding emotions (namely fear!) of horrible things happening to us, having every imaginable disease known to man and some that haven't been discovered yet, lost every job, friend, tooth, well, you get the picture....

        And we live with these illusions and accept them wondering why love, joy, and peace do come and visit once in a great while but are ever so elusive.

        God doesn't dwell in what is not real and just like Illusions said, you come to the point you have to STOP THE INSANITY!! It is then you realize that joy, love and peace have always been there. Right inside of you and have never left you, but rather it is you that has left them over and over....YOU were the visitor!

        All of us are on this journey of discovery of the self and the truths within us and the key is to live in the grace that is for today, being present every moment...

        I express my admiration to those of you who live in presence most of the time a sense of camaraderie with those who are still discovering the process and a hand up to those who need it

        ~Viviana -
        "The divine is not something high above us. It is in heaven, it is in earth, it is inside us..." - Morihei Ueshiba


        • #5
          What a wonderful thread! I'm reading "Things Are Going Great in My Absence" by Lola Jones and I love it. I found trying to ignore my feelings and "Think Positive" was making things worse. Now that I am allowing myself to feel my negative feelings, and show myself love and compassion, they seem to dissipate rather quickly. I've cried more last week than I have in years. Now I find the sooner and more fully I allow myself to feel, the quicker it dissipates. Amazing!

          Marnyka, I'm interested in hearing about your experiences with the Divine Openings online course.

          Marnyka and illusions for sharing you insight and experiences.




          • #6
            Online Divine Openings Course

            Hi Pam,
            I read the book and did the Level 1 course at the same time. I'm a bit of a rusher and even though Lola talks about "slow is faster" I had to of course find out for myself. The online course gave me something to look forward to every week. It was/is great. I'm on Level 2 now. I have noticed my small self is not a fan when it gets in the back seat and hence wreaks a little havoc every now and then. I have an instrument panel in my bathroom, my office, my computer room and I give them to people all the time. It is very useful for me.

            I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant so I have been really trying to feel more and let things move when I feel a little morning sickness or just worn out. What a difference from my first pregancy .

            I was most definitely into "I'm broken, I need to be fixed, cleared, cleansed....etc" before I started her course. I now understand that it's truly more of a choice as to how you choose to handle any situation in your life. So occasionally I will clear something or make an adjustment but I do try to make that shift to "Letting the Divine do the Heavy Lifting" more and more of the time. The Do-er in me doesn't like to sit back and let things unfold. But I gain a little more patience everyday.
            Marnyka Z. Buttry
            Divine Openings Giver & Healer