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"I got what I wanted, and it didn't make me happy"

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  • "I got what I wanted, and it didn't make me happy"

    Have you ever said these sad words to yourself? Well, I have, many times. In fact, recently a long-held and long-treasured dream finally came true, and instead of making me happy, it only seemed to add more stress and pressure to my life. So naturally I've been pondering a lot about the nature of happiness, and what I can do to achieve it.

    Today I was fortunate to stumble across this amazing video by a very wonderful author/speaker/Harvard psychologist called Dan Gilbert. It is about 20 minutes long, but it is funny, and well worth a look-over for anyone who has ever wondered, "what will make me happy?" (Hint: do not join the Beatles!)

    In the past few months, I've come to see that happiness is something that comes from within, not from without. In other words, happiness is a choice! We don't need a reason to be happy. We can just decide to be happy and grateful with what we have. And according to Dr. Gilbert, we can synthesise (make) our own happiness, regardless of our circumstances.

    Well. Your thoughts?

  • #2
    Great topic!

    Hi Rin,

    I enjoyed your post very much - hehe, it made me happy to read your observations and conclusions.

    To date, the best understanding of happiness that resonates with me is as explained in The Power of Now. Happiness, like so many other emotions, is part of a duality that always cycles around to its opposite. Thus, happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. Even duality-type love is the same situation. However, from within can come awareness of Joy that has has no opposite for it comes from a place beyond duality. The dissolving of those parts of the Ego-mind that do not serve you, is how to 'find' or rather remember this natural state of being that is Joy.

    Anyway, thats the essence of how Eckhart Tolle explained it and its workin' for the place I'm in.

    Peace,

    tephen

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    • #3
      Here is the official site for Eckhart Tolle, just in case you were, along with me, one of the three people in the world who had never heard of him or his groundbreaking book until now! Thank you very much, Stephen!

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      • #4
        Fabulous Rin!

        Thank you Rin! I enjoyed the video so very much of Dan Gilbert and his "synthesis of happiness!! Excellent find!!
        IMMENSE LOVE AND GRATITUDE ~ GRACE
        For a private session with me go to:
        https://www.facebook.com/GraceHaeusler88/

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        https://www.facebook.com/Karatbars88/

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Rin View Post
          In the past few months, I've come to see that happiness is something that comes from within, not from without. In other words, happiness is a choice! We don't need a reason to be happy. We can just decide to be happy and grateful with what we have. And according to Dr. Gilbert, we can synthesise (make) our own happiness, regardless of our circumstances.

          Well. Your thoughts?
          I think that Happiness equals being grateful for what we have, for our existance. The reason we get unhappy maybe is the fact that we focus on what we don't have, instead of focusing on what we have.

          I tried a lot to be happy for no reason but it is too difficult. Maybe we can say that the reason we want to be happy is because we want to be happy!!
          Humility, an important property for a COP>1 system.
          http://blog.hexaheart.org

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          • #6
            Dear Grace and Elias, thank you both very much for your (happy) replies.

            I find since I have been on the Gratitude module, I have really and truly been happy for even the smallest things in life. It's crazy, but even when something not-so-good happens, all I can think is "I wonder what I can learn from this?" or "I wonder what kind of opportunity is opening because of this?" And more recently, I just think, "I don't care what happens, or doesn't happen. This is a wonderful chance for me to learn how to open my heart even more."

            I just can't believe it. I cannot believe it. I compare the person I am now with the person I was a year ago, and I'm flabbergasted!

            My life is not perfect, and neither am I. But I can say hand on heart that I have never been this happy in all my life!

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            • #7
              Hi Rin!

              Thank you so much for your post and the video. It is wonderful of you to share, especially since I have had many of the same 'observations' myself lately when things happen. I have definitely been feeling more of "there is a lesson in this that I can learn" and generally feeling that there is nothing truly 'bad' about what is going on. I get through times that feel challenging and think about what the future holds in a positive way instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of what was/is challenging to me.

              I also think the Gratitude module has a lot to do with how I feel!

              Thanks again!
              In gratitude and love, Jeanie
              MyNaturalHealthOnline.com
              Ceramic Christmas Trees.info
              Discover-PATHS

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