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help with Mom
Hello everyone.........I'm relatively new to this forum, but love the energy and almost feel as though I know all of you after reading here for the last few weeks. I posted an introduction on the matrix forum if any of you feel inspired to check it out. I'm hoping responding to a post directed to someone else is not inappropriate.......please let me know if it is.
Aren't mothers amazing??
Doesn't it just blow your mind how they can bring out the parts of us that we most dislike about ourselves. My own mother recently visited me, and my usual calm, accepting composure crumbled within the first couple of days. I think what happens is that all the hurts and frustrations of our childhood that were left unresolved, come rushing back up to the surface again for healing.....but instead of recognizing the opportunity we fall back into our usual patterns of resistance and resentment, and the drama continues right where we left it. I think we actually revert back to the child within, who feels totally powerless to change our circumstances. Not sure if any of you follow Abraham teachings, but I remember them once saying that after Esther visited her mother she finally understood what homesickness meant.......it's when going home makes you sick!!!
So, Sallyjane, having said all this.....I'm not sure I have any practical solutions for you. Trying to resolve old patterns in the heat of the moment is a bigger challenge than most of us are up for! We're usually in a state of reaction, and detachment is the only state that's going to help us see the drama for what it is. If you can find a way to make peace with where you are in this game, and find thoughts about your mother that bring you back to your new empowered self.....you'll feel much better. Who you are now, is much wiser, stronger, more passionate, etc. than who you were during your last encounter with your mother. Jeez, I can see all your growth over the last while, and I don't even know you personally!! Maybe your mother is seeing things in you that frighten her....maybe she's afraid of losing the "you" that she's always known. She's probably feeling SO much better, now that the old "you" has come back again. She just hasn't figured out how to relate to the woman you've become, and so she draws out her little girl. Maybe it would be helpful if you had a nice cup of coffee with her at your favorite place.....just you and her, and you asked her about her interactions with her own mother....and if she ever noticed how the mother/child thingy just flares up and ruins a perfectly good time!
The amazing, beautiful Grace will probably have some constructive solutions for you, and tweaking your energy patterns will certainly help............but the work will still be waiting for you. Soon as my mother left, I put the work right back up on the shelf.....and it's calling me! She's the only one left that can still draw out that helpless insecure little girl that I used to be.....and I truly want to help the little girl in me feel safe enuff to merge with the woman I've become. The next time I see my mother, I wanna see all the things that I love and admire about her instead of the things that make me wanna climb walls and scream
So, I'm off to think some thoughts about the triggers that evoke those old hurts, and bring them up for healing and soothing.....because I know that this is really all about me, and nothing to do with my mother. Now that feels a little more powerful......I can't change my mother, but I know that I can change myself.
xxxoo
Debbie
Hello everyone.........I'm relatively new to this forum, but love the energy and almost feel as though I know all of you after reading here for the last few weeks. I posted an introduction on the matrix forum if any of you feel inspired to check it out. I'm hoping responding to a post directed to someone else is not inappropriate.......please let me know if it is.
Aren't mothers amazing??
Doesn't it just blow your mind how they can bring out the parts of us that we most dislike about ourselves. My own mother recently visited me, and my usual calm, accepting composure crumbled within the first couple of days. I think what happens is that all the hurts and frustrations of our childhood that were left unresolved, come rushing back up to the surface again for healing.....but instead of recognizing the opportunity we fall back into our usual patterns of resistance and resentment, and the drama continues right where we left it. I think we actually revert back to the child within, who feels totally powerless to change our circumstances. Not sure if any of you follow Abraham teachings, but I remember them once saying that after Esther visited her mother she finally understood what homesickness meant.......it's when going home makes you sick!!! So, Sallyjane, having said all this.....I'm not sure I have any practical solutions for you. Trying to resolve old patterns in the heat of the moment is a bigger challenge than most of us are up for! We're usually in a state of reaction, and detachment is the only state that's going to help us see the drama for what it is. If you can find a way to make peace with where you are in this game, and find thoughts about your mother that bring you back to your new empowered self.....you'll feel much better. Who you are now, is much wiser, stronger, more passionate, etc. than who you were during your last encounter with your mother. Jeez, I can see all your growth over the last while, and I don't even know you personally!! Maybe your mother is seeing things in you that frighten her....maybe she's afraid of losing the "you" that she's always known. She's probably feeling SO much better, now that the old "you" has come back again. She just hasn't figured out how to relate to the woman you've become, and so she draws out her little girl. Maybe it would be helpful if you had a nice cup of coffee with her at your favorite place.....just you and her, and you asked her about her interactions with her own mother....and if she ever noticed how the mother/child thingy just flares up and ruins a perfectly good time!
The amazing, beautiful Grace will probably have some constructive solutions for you, and tweaking your energy patterns will certainly help............but the work will still be waiting for you. Soon as my mother left, I put the work right back up on the shelf.....and it's calling me! She's the only one left that can still draw out that helpless insecure little girl that I used to be.....and I truly want to help the little girl in me feel safe enuff to merge with the woman I've become. The next time I see my mother, I wanna see all the things that I love and admire about her instead of the things that make me wanna climb walls and scream
So, I'm off to think some thoughts about the triggers that evoke those old hurts, and bring them up for healing and soothing.....because I know that this is really all about me, and nothing to do with my mother. Now that feels a little more powerful......I can't change my mother, but I know that I can change myself. xxxoo
Debbie
So I guess I really need some work in this area of time and the fear of being late. 
When I made corrections on these issues of "having your buttons pushed" I was actually enjoying the synchronicity of it all, so much so that I could not stop smiling(almost giggling) as I was making the corrections. You see, I have a friend that secretly enjoys pushing my buttons, and I love having my buttons pushed more!!
Creating even more beauty for myself and others!
Today I've been more conscious of negative thinking habits and stopping myself in the midst of it, or planning ahead, setting positive intentions when in situations where I know I have a tendency to fall headfirst into the illusion! 
Thank you for reminding me to do this for myself too!!
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