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  • Hello all! Hi Debbie! Thank you sooooooooo much for your so beautiful and very uplifting post!

    Anyways I did the things you recommended, well the bubble bath no because I don't have a bathtub (maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to move into a place with a bathtub, but right now this little flat is just fine, veeeeery cheap rent ) but my lovely soft comfy queen sized bed with its fluffy eiderdown quilt did just great for me!

    Thing is I don't WANT to work at ANY of the jobs I've applied for. But I'm desperate because soon I won't have ANY income at all! When welfare ends. Here in Spain you just can't know all the enormous tons of people who have become homeless because they couldn't pay the rent or mortgage, most people aren't even eligible for welfare at all here! And most people who DO get welfare can only get it for 6 months, when the average jobless person in this country takes more than 2 years to find a job because Spain isn't in crisis, it's in deep depression. Like the one that hit the US in the 30's. Except in those days housing was cheaper, like here the average person with an average job and an average home spends more than 50% of his income only on housing (rent or mortgage), as opposed to 80 years ago here when the average person only spent about 10% of his income on housing. Well and blah blah blah I'm getting off the subject here.

    Thing is people who never ever expected to become homeless here have become homeless now, nice young ladies with no parents to take care of them, with an education who used to work as secretaries or even lawyers. People who don't smoke or drink or take drugs. Because they lost their job and couldn't find another one and they couldn't get welfare either. The news is full of reports about these sorts of people nowadays, because the big cities are filled with people in this situation.

    But anyways getting back to me (instead of the current situation, the news etc. hehe! ), well I was just saying that I really don't WANT to work at any of the jobs I've applied for! I just apply for them because I'm desperate, I don't want to end up just another statistical homeless casualty of this deep depression that this country is going through. I'm even thinking of going to England because that country is chock full of jobs!

    I know they say we create our reality, but I think the events that happen in any given country do affect all the people in that country regardless of their beliefs. For example I think if you live in Haiti it doesn't really matter what you believe, the earthquake there would've affected you some way or another. You could be practicing LOA and meditating and all that but the earthquake there would inevitably have affected you somehow. Even if you yourself didn't lose your home maybe you would've lost loved ones, or have family members who did lose their home and have to move in with you. Surely if you used to have a prosperous business there it would have all gone down the drain because all those earthquake victims would certainly no longer be in any situation to patronise your business now.

    So what I am saying is, when I am in bed picturing myself earning money doing what I most LOOOOOOOVE to do it's all very nice and pleasant, I believe in it, I can feel the waves going out searching for those people and that opportunity that would be a perfect match for me, and that their vibrations and mine lock together and we feel mutually attracted towards each other, even if we aren't aware of it, and synchronicity and events bring us together.

    But then I come back to the cold hard reality, the reality of a country that, well if not the poorest in the EU (I think maybe Greece is taking that honour lately, I don't know if you've read in the news about how deep in debt they are and can't provide for the needs of their own citizens and need heaps of help from the EU just to survive these days), well the thing is all the south of Europe right now is in the bin, Spain isn't the worst off but it's definitely a shadow of what it used to be. We all hope it recovers soon as countries like England, Germany or the US have already done.

    The only hope I do have is I HAVE told the universe I'm willing to move to another country if that is what it takes for me to find success doing what I love to do!

    But asides from that, well I really do personally find it very hard to imagine anyone wanting to pay me to do the things I love to do. What I love to do is artistic and we all know the stories about those poor starving artists, writers and poets freezing in garrets so they can write, etc. There's even a saying here which says, doing art means freezing to death (because you can't pay for the heating I presume), that is "el arte = helarte"!

    (And no, what I love to do isn't nearly as practical or as in demand as writing is, I mean if you were a writer I imagine you could still work as a journalist or something. But no I don't write.)

    I imagine that if I were really really really good, and living in a place where there's still money to pay for artistic activities (when people are starving to death and living in the streets in masses, there DEFINITELY is no money for artistic activities), maybe I'd still have the hope of getting paid for doing what I love to do. But I'm sure that I'm so bad, even if there were money for artistic activities people would always prefer someone else before they would choose me, because if you're gonna pay your hard-earned money for someone to do something and that something isn't related to your basic necessities and primary needs, that someone had better be real good!

    Anyways sorry for ranting on so. I just wish I could find a way to be good enough that I could actually believe that people would be willing to pay me to do what I love to do, but I don't find that I can ever get any better no matter how hard I try. Because I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally bad..............
    Psychic Empowerment for Spiritual Growth: http://www.seasofmintaka.com/
    Soul Realignment, Intuitive Healing, Natural Cosmetics, Travel, Walks in the Country and Just Some Good All-Round Blogging: http://theseasofmintaka.com/

    Comment


    • Okay my darling.....sounds like you've made up your mind that you're bad, and the world is a dangerous, vulnerable place to live....and that what you love to do is impossible to do because you'll starve to death trying to do it. Not only that, you want to defend why this is the TRUTH and why no one would want you. So here you are...proving all this to yourself!

      We DO create our reality. My reality is totally different than yours.....not because I'm lucky, or live in the right place,....it's because my dominant thoughts are different. They weren't always different than yours - it's a work in progress. Becoming the YOU that resides within your potential, is a full time job and pays amazing dividends.

      Here's a little exercise for you - if you're willing to try it....write a list of as many things that you can think of that are GOOD about you and your present situation.....without mentioning anything bad....and post it here!

      We'll all be waiting and excited to hear what you come up with!

      xooxox
      love Debbie
      www.pathsbeginwith.com

      Comment


      • I just re-read my post.....and it didn't come off the way I meant it to! I'm truly trying to help you feel better Serenac.......and not suggesting how you think or feel is in any way wrong or inappropriate. I'm assuming you don't like feeling the way you do...and want suggestions to feel better.

        Making peace with where you are here and now - always makes a person feel better and opens up the door to new opportunities.

        xxoox
        love Debbie
        PATHS ~ Mind Energetics

        Comment


        • Hello everyone! Hi Debbie! Thank you sooooooooooo much for putting up with me! You are so wonderful and nice!

          By the way what types of healing work do you do?

          Anyways Iíve decided to do a couple of things. On the one hand I think Iíll work out of my home and to that extent Iím preparing some posters to put up, see if I can attract some clients into my life. Obviously what I have to offer the world just isnít apparent on a CV, when employers see my CV the only thing they see is my age! There are a lot of stereotypes around here about people *of a certain age*, I donít know if perhaps this is also true in the States or if itís just a belief limited to around here. Here people think that middle-aged people are unattractive, have lots of wrinkles (if they saw me they would NEVER guess that according to my birthdate Iím *middle-aged*! I have NO wrinkles at all, no sagging, no blemishes, not that I look like a top model cuz you gotta have great bones for that and I donít, but most people think Iím in my twenties! But when you look at my CV on any of those job search sites the first things you will see about me are my personal information (including my age)(and as if that weren't enough my age stands out in a BIG FONT as opposed to the rest of my personal info which is a normal size!), not my photo ), are very bad workers because theyíve become senile and are set in their ways and therefore they refuse to adapt themselves to new companies.

          Spanish TV shows reinforce this stereotype, I recently saw a show where a lady in her 50ís went to an interview for an accountant position, the interviewer was a handsome young man in his early thirties, the middle-aged candidate only talked about her great cooking and the delicious cookies she was capable of making and offered to bring homemade pastries into the office if she got the job, when asked if she would be willing to adapt to the way things were done in the office she exclaimed that she had her own methods and she fully expected to continue using her own methods in her new job.

          It turned out that in addition the middle-aged lady happened to go to the interview accompanied by her youthful niece. She said the nieceís mother had asked her to *babysit* so she was just carrying out her duties. The young niece was in her twenties, very attractive, sexy and curvy. The interviewer was so taken by her that he invited her for an interview. In the interview it turned out that the young lady didnít know how to do anything and had never studied anything. That didnít matter! She got hired anyways instead of her well-qualified but elderly aunt!

          Anyways so as I was saying, quite clearly employers donít see what I have to offer, they only see my age. And perhaps my lack of experience. So Iíll work at home and offer my work to people who wonít care what I look like, if I have wrinkles or no or if I have lots of experience, as long as I give them what they want and do my job well and give them satisfaction.

          And in the meantime Iíll also create the perfect opportunity that I want and attract it into my life, and since I will (letís hope anyways! ) be earning some income from my home business I wonít need to worry about money or deadlines, so I can take the time that I need to create just exactly the perfect opportunity that Iím looking for. Iíve been trying to imagine just what that perfect opportunity would look like but the truth is there are so many things that I want, I find it hard to decide upon what I really want more than anything else!

          Well Iíll certainly let you know how itís going for me, and when I start to receive my opportunities in my life to make some income and earn a living Iíll be sure to let you know.

          Thanks again Debbie soooooooo much for your kind words! Youíve got all my love and huggies!
          Psychic Empowerment for Spiritual Growth: http://www.seasofmintaka.com/
          Soul Realignment, Intuitive Healing, Natural Cosmetics, Travel, Walks in the Country and Just Some Good All-Round Blogging: http://theseasofmintaka.com/

          Comment


          • life and death...

            Many thanks Grace for your work on me for my issues on love, etc. As you suggested, I chose "Unconditional Love" and Mood Elevator on my PATHS theater. The timing could not have been more appropriate!!

            Last week my mother was diagnosed with advanced stage of Lung Cancer (terminal) and I've been lucky enough to have the opportunity to spend a week with her and express my gratitude and love for her.

            My week has been pretty much "drama free". I'm comfortable showing my love and compassion. I'm not depressed or unhappy.....I'm in a profound place of accepting "what is" without resistance. Fortunately my mother's sister is an RN and has come to be with her until the end. My mother has opted for dying at home - so the offer of nursing care is fabulous. Mom has decided to LIVE until she dies.......so our visit has been quite a journey Her attitude is amazing....and she sees death as simply a part of life.

            Thank heaven for our dear Grace & PATHS........cause otherwise I may not have had the want or need to express so many things that arose very naturally!


            Debbie

            Comment


            • Health

              Hi everyone !

              I want to tell you something about acupuncture that a little bit of people
              knows:

              I think you know that for each problem of health there are some points
              of acupuncture responsible for it. The wife of one of my friends (when I was a
              schoolboy) is a doctor in this branch. She told us, that if one illuminates
              his skin with UV lamp in the darkness then the points of acupuncture which are
              ďillĒ begin emit the red light like LEDs. ( I didn't verify it). You can after stimulate these points to ďcureĒ them.

              Another way was published in Russian journal many many years ago:

              You need to have a device for electro-acupuncture. This device have two
              electrodes, one microampermeter , one speaker, one potentiometer and a generator of pulsing positive current. You need to take one electrode in your hand, the other is
              used to search the points of acupuncture. When the latter is placed exactly on
              the acupuncture point you hear beep of speaker. Microampermeter shows the
              current which pass trough your body. At that moment you need to change the
              polarity of the electrodes and watch the current. If the current is differ
              from the current of other polarity then this point of acupuncture is ďillĒ.
              You need to cure this point with that polarity of electrodes when the current
              was smaller. And time to time you change the polarity to watch the difference
              of the currents. When the currents of two polarities are equal your point is
              ďcuredĒ.
              Only you need to know in what cases it's forbidden to use acupuncture (for
              example: cancer...).

              Another way to equilibrate the currents is jogging. You don't need to have
              the device.

              Comment


              • The way I understand LOA.......

                Hi Gracie, Debbie, all the fantastic people here!

                Oh Debbie Iím so sorry to hear about your mother! It isnít much consolation, but you can think that the most important things are that you and your mother had a great time together and continue to have a great time now, and that it is so much worse if the daughter were to leave the world before the mother, that must indeed be the worst pain ever and at least your mother will never have to suffer that. And that after a certain length of time (many decades we hope!) you will have the joy of being with your mother again, this time in a place where you wonít need to separate from each other ever again. Well until your next life that isÖÖÖ.

                How are you doing Grace? I hope youíre really kicking *** out there and showiní em all!!

                Anyways just wanted to make note of something really amazing (Grace have you been working on me or something heehee? ). Well I had a reading with Moria last week Ė I TOTALLY recommend a reading with Moria to EVERYONE who is here on this thread by the way Ė and I donít know what has happened but it has made everything so clear to me, that I am now very excited!

                Well first off Moria is such a veeeeeeeery positive and uplifting person, she gave me looooooooots of really good advice too. However all of a sudden I just all of a sudden GET IT, and I havenít even been following Moriaís advice yet! Not that I donít mean to follow her advice I mean, I just havenít had time to do the things she suggested.

                Anyways now I TOTALLY understand what exactly is happening with the LOA and how come it never seems to work, and what Abraham means with all the things that he says. I just all of a sudden realized that I donít have to DO anything to MAKE anything happen. The only work I have to do is to work on my vibrations!

                Iíve always had the habit of doing things like, for example, praying to the universe: oh universe please bring a job into my life which is perfect for me and the most beneficial for everyone concerned, oh universe you know what job is best for me so I trust in you to lead me to the right job for me, etc.

                But now I realized, I donít have to do anything! Everything is vibrations, and the only thing I have to do is work on my own vibrations to make them like the vibrations of the job I want. Then just sit back and wait for that job to be attracted into my life like 2 magnets are irresistibly attracted to each other. Itís automatic, like vibrations are always automatically attracted towards each other, itís not because Gíd is granting some peopleís wishes arbitrarily while maliciously making other people suffer, itís impersonal and whatever comes into your life, comes because itís automatically attracted into your life by your vibrations.

                So my job is just to make my vibrations into what I consider desirable for me, and thatís where all that visualization, mind power, LOA, etc. work comes in. Because, I figure, visualizing, feeling the feeling, etc. helps to move my vibrations into where I want them to be. The higher my vibrations the more beneficial, uplifting and ďa perfect matchĒ for me will be the job which I attract to me. So all I have to do is raise my vibrations.

                So for example, I figure, if for example I had the vibrations of for example a person who was pessimistic, envious and engaged in gossiping behind peopleís backs all the time, I would probably attract a company into my life where everyone was nasty, picky and always gossiping.

                So for example, I was always very desperate to find a job, worried, anxious, etc., and NO ONE called me up for an interview, not even a single one! Well that only made sense! No employer is looking for desperate, anxious employees! No wonder no one felt inspired to call me up for an interview.

                But I then came to think that somewhere out there there is the perfect job for me, which is the perfect vibrational match for me. All I have to do is emit these vibrations long enough and it would just be a matter of time before that perfect matching job became irresistibly attracted to me. So, then I understood what Abraham said that we arenít searching for a job, a place where people will accept us, we are waiting for the job that is searching for us to find US! Somewhere out there there is a company where they are looking for someone who is exactly like me.

                I feel like Iím in an Easter egg hunt hehe! Like out there I just KNOW there is a beautiful Easter egg hidden just for me to find, and what I have to do is seek for that egg. I donít have to get caught up in all the lemons that I find refusing to let go of the lemons for fear that there really isnít any egg out there for me, there IS an egg out there for me, so I can let go of the lemons!

                So Iím not any worried any more at all about finding a job, I know the perfect job and I will find each other, my only concern is to take care of my vibrations! Since I realized this I got invited to TWO interviews! After more than half a year without receiving ANYTHING!

                And tomorrow when I go to that interview Iím not even worried about whether the interviewers will like me or not, Iíll only be concerned with checking out to see if the job is right for ME, if itís the right match for me. If it isnít Iíll just keep on searching. As Abraham says it will be ME who is interviewing the company and the interviewers, not them me (even though they might think the contrary hehe! ).

                By the way I wanted to comment, that didnít mean that I just sat down and did nothing and stopped looking for a job, I still kept doing the usual things that people do when they look for a job like scouring ads, sending CVís, networking, etc. I just approached job searching a different way, instead of fretting over how few offers there were out there (before when I used to look I only found TWO job offers here in Malaga throughout an entire month, now when I look I find 18 pages full of job offers, whatís going on here?? ) I started looking with a much more open mind, thinking that that perfect job for me could be hiding anywhere and therefore not discarding any possibility, but at the same time only applying to offers that I found interesting and sounded like they could be fun jobs.

                I might add, Moria really lifts up your self-confidence sky-high, totally recommend a reading with her! I started applying to jobs I didnít before because I thought I was a real lousy person and an idiot and would never be capable of doing all these things that were required for these different jobs.

                Okay end of soap opera! Bye everyone! Take care and keep us up to date on you!
                Psychic Empowerment for Spiritual Growth: http://www.seasofmintaka.com/
                Soul Realignment, Intuitive Healing, Natural Cosmetics, Travel, Walks in the Country and Just Some Good All-Round Blogging: http://theseasofmintaka.com/

                Comment


                • HI Grace

                  Gosh I had my whole day planned out and around 11am I took a nap and didn't wake on time for my class opps. I need a Tune up please!!
                  Also I was wondering if you can make corrections on the photographer I want to work with too. We talked but haven't really determine a date to work together. I think she's stress and overloaded herself.I really want to get pictures done asap!! since that will start things going.. I been doing very good on my diet but my tummy is a problem. I been using the Flaxseed oil and I do notice a difference on my thighs the appearance is improving. I thought that by eating good my energy should improve I was wondering if you can muscle test what I need to take for energy. Thanks on your corrections on Sebastian he feels better today please continue to work on us. My Apartment manager says I have to move to another apartment because since Sebastian is leaving I have to go to an two bedroom apt. The bad thing is that it'll be next to an big mouth neighbor. They still have to clean up the place and paint I was wondering if you can test if I really am moving within this complex or if my section 8 will come before I have to move into another apt. If Section 8 comes first I can move out of this shelter into my own place still low rent That will be soo cool!

                  Love and light to you Grace and everyone here

                  Yari

                  Comment


                  • For All!

                    I have so much to be grateful for, reading your posts these past few weeks!! I love the energy that you give to each other. I have been greatly desiring to post for the last week now, and I can't wait to reply to each of you.

                    I have been making CEM corrections for myself and others more than ever, and I thought that I was making a lot before!!

                    I have to post about creating a Custom Module, and post more about the effects I have received from the Paths Martial Arts Module, and also post more about my Karate experiences with pics etc. per Serena's request.

                    By the way Serena, a few weeks back you posted, and I wanted to post immediately because you once again made me happy, but I chose to wait, and now I know why. I have been chosen to play a movie role in a short film that show cases Martial arts.

                    I wanted to tell you this, because when I read your post it truly made me think and realize that, Yes that would be fun for me, and here it is! So thank you sweet lady!!

                    This weekend is another busy fast paced weekend, with Karate, a close friend's Birthday Party, and spending time with family and friends in general.

                    I read this thread daily, and make corrections daily for all of us as a group, and individually when it muscle tests strong to do so. I am grateful that you are all patient with me, and know that I have grown and shifted immensely these past months, and have so much to share with all of you as soon as I can learn how to manage my time in a new more opportunistic way.

                    I have been making corrections on myself to create more time! So far so good, on spending time with friends and family here in town, but now I need more time for ME so that I can write and post as I used to. It's very interesting to me, how My Karate keeps bringing me more and more joy, and how it was because of Karate that I began practicing Chinese Energetic Medicine, and because of all of you, my Karate skills have improved immensely!

                    I am truly full of gratitude for this thread, and what it has brought into my life. ALL OF YOU! I will be back to reply, thanks for being so patient. Meanwhile, keep making your requests as I can make the corrections right away, but as you now know, I need to adjust how I feel about and create time so that I can reply when I desire to do so.
                    IMMENSE LOVE AND GRATITUDE ~ GRACE

                    Linktr.ee/gracehaeusler

                    Comment


                    • You are an inspiration, Yari! Keep spreading the love that you are!

                      Comment


                      • For Yari!

                        Originally posted by yari
                        Who am I
                        Before, I used to be a very insecure person and afraid to be me. When I look back at my life I could have done so much in my life. God has given me many opportunities to succeed but I didnít take advantage of them because I was afraid.
                        I was 20 when I had my son Sebastian and I remember working hard to get ahead. I felt like a mouse on a spin wheel always working just to survive day by day. I thought to myself ďIs this how life is supposed to be?Ē

                        I had dreams that I never dared to share with anyone because I was afraid people would laugh at me, but I kept those dreams in my heart. If I wasnít living my dreams I sure did daydream about them.

                        Many times, I wondered, what is wrong with me, why am I not like other people? Why do I wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and forget my name and wonder why I am here? and Who am I?

                        I had no clue how to live life, and life was hard for me because I was always very sensitive and took things to heart. I was very hard on myself I didnít take failures right. Maybe because I had family that told me that I would never amount to anything and never have anything.

                        It was hard for me to understand people and life in general. Many times, I felt cursed and rejected. It came from being molested very young and my mother being a teen herself, didnít know how to give me love. This is something personal but I feel that I should write this because there might be others like me who need to read this or maybe somehow I can help change someone's heart. I have experienced a lot of hardship, and I always wonder how other women manage to cope, and raise children with the many challenges in life.

                        I still was that scared little girl. I searched for God and I had many instances where I felt Godís presence (Alone) and felt a lot of joy but I let the outside world bring me down. I have been to Churches where they teach to separate yourself from non-Christians and hate homosexuals.

                        That wasnít the same God I felt I knew, to me God wants you to love everyone. Not that Iím saying all churches just some that I have gone to. Even though I knew what the bible says, l didnít get God. Why, If I love God and follow the Bible, was I still suffering?

                        In July 2009 as if I didnít already have enough **** happen to me, My spouse left me and never properly broke up with me, he just left and said heíll be back. When I first saw him I felt like the whole universe made that day especially for me. I felt that God finally was starting to bless me.

                        We had a lot of plans and talked endlessly about how we were going to change the world, but after six months of being together things started to go bad. I refused to give up and I worked so hard to keep my relationship with him because I thought he was from God.

                        We had two beautiful girls and I didnít want to hear people say to me ďI told you soĒ or see me alone again, but I had three kids now. All I ever wanted was to have a family that included a husband and now that dream was shattered!?
                        That was the beginning of my suffering from panic attacks and dealing with a very difficult teen. I remember giving up. I remember wanting to die and I remember feeling I didnít deserve to be a mother to my girls. If my son didnít show love and respect for me then sure enough my daughters would be the same right? ďNo Body loves me!Ē

                        These were thoughts that I had repeatedly recorded in my mind. Even though I managed to do my everyday routines, it was challenging for me because I had no help and I was a new mom again. I come home and my work was never done. I didnít have time to myself, I couldnít grieve and take a break.
                        Everyday was a challenge. My teenage son didnít make things easier either, he was in trouble all the time and at my worst state he would make things even more harder for me. I started to feel rejected by my own son also. I remember being very angry at God and screaming out why?? Donít you love me?


                        The only light I had was my friend Grace. God Bless Her and I feel blessed that God brought her to me. Her knowledge and her Chinese Energetic Medicine Healing helped me come from the dark to the light.

                        My life started to change so much. It took a year and three months of corrections to get where I'm at now. With the power of God's Love and Light Grace energetically corrected my thought s and feelings about me, the outside world and even my thoughts about God.

                        She removed layers upon layers of lies I planted in my head and planted new thoughts of Love and Gratitude. Everything made sense now everything I read about and everything that happened to me in the spirit world made sense now. The laws of Attraction actually helped me understand Jesus, God, and the Bible.

                        Now I knew I wasnít cursed and that actually I had power within to change my world. It wasnít easy a lot of times I said this **** doesnít work and gave up but the seed of hope was already planted in me and it didnít allow me to stay in defeat.


                        I notice how everything around me I attract to myself, the bad and the good. I did this without knowing because I didnít have the knowledge and awareness yet that I was choosing to suffer and not live in Gratitude.
                        It wasnít easy to feel gratitude when a lot of junk was happening, and my outside world was working against me every time, but Grace kept working on me and little by little I started to change. I started to have more faith in the unseen and more Gratitude.

                        I started practicing feeling good and using positive affirmations and share it on facebook. It helped me to start building myself from the ground up. I love to share what Iíve learned Spiritually and Energetically. It feels Good to feel Good and you just want to share it with others because it's just so awesome. We are all one and we are all Love Energy, being connected to Grace helped me be more connected with my true self and most importantly to love myself. That was the problem from the beginning I didnít love myself and I didnít have enough faith.

                        Iím not fully enlightened yet, and I still need some areas to work on, but I'm getting there and I hope to inspire others through my story. I came from being a victim to a Victor! And I hope those that suffer from depression or anxiety to know that there is hope for you. You are not cursed. You are Love Energy!!
                        You are such an inspiration! I look around and see how magnificent my friends are, and then I see you becoming more!! How great is this?!! I love you Yari, thank you for being in my life, and for making more of YOUR life!!
                        IMMENSE LOVE AND GRATITUDE ~ GRACE

                        Linktr.ee/gracehaeusler

                        Comment


                        • yari

                          Originally posted by yari
                          Who am I
                          Before, I used to be a very insecure person and afraid to be me. When I look back at my life I could have done so much in my life. God has given me many opportunities to succeed but I didnít take advantage of them because I was afraid.
                          I was 20 when I had my son Sebastian and I remember working hard to get ahead. I felt like a mouse on a spin wheel always working just to survive day by day. I thought to myself ďIs this how life is supposed to be?Ē

                          I had dreams that I never dared to share with anyone because I was afraid people would laugh at me, but I kept those dreams in my heart. If I wasnít living my dreams I sure did daydream about them.

                          Many times, I wondered, what is wrong with me, why am I not like other people? Why do I wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and forget my name and wonder why I am here? and Who am I?

                          I had no clue how to live life, and life was hard for me because I was always very sensitive and took things to heart. I was very hard on myself I didnít take failures right. Maybe because I had family that told me that I would never amount to anything and never have anything.

                          It was hard for me to understand people and life in general. Many times, I felt cursed and rejected. It came from being molested very young and my mother being a teen herself, didnít know how to give me love. This is something personal but I feel that I should write this because there might be others like me who need to read this or maybe somehow I can help change someone's heart. I have experienced a lot of hardship, and I always wonder how other women manage to cope, and raise children with the many challenges in life.

                          I still was that scared little girl. I searched for God and I had many instances where I felt Godís presence (Alone) and felt a lot of joy but I let the outside world bring me down. I have been to Churches where they teach to separate yourself from non-Christians and hate homosexuals.

                          That wasnít the same God I felt I knew, to me God wants you to love everyone. Not that Iím saying all churches just some that I have gone to. Even though I knew what the bible says, l didnít get God. Why, If I love God and follow the Bible, was I still suffering?

                          In July 2009 as if I didnít already have enough **** happen to me, My spouse left me and never properly broke up with me, he just left and said heíll be back. When I first saw him I felt like the whole universe made that day especially for me. I felt that God finally was starting to bless me.

                          We had a lot of plans and talked endlessly about how we were going to change the world, but after six months of being together things started to go bad. I refused to give up and I worked so hard to keep my relationship with him because I thought he was from God.

                          We had two beautiful girls and I didnít want to hear people say to me ďI told you soĒ or see me alone again, but I had three kids now. All I ever wanted was to have a family that included a husband and now that dream was shattered!?
                          That was the beginning of my suffering from panic attacks and dealing with a very difficult teen. I remember giving up. I remember wanting to die and I remember feeling I didnít deserve to be a mother to my girls. If my son didnít show love and respect for me then sure enough my daughters would be the same right? ďNo Body loves me!Ē

                          These were thoughts that I had repeatedly recorded in my mind. Even though I managed to do my everyday routines, it was challenging for me because I had no help and I was a new mom again. I come home and my work was never done. I didnít have time to myself, I couldnít grieve and take a break.
                          Everyday was a challenge. My teenage son didnít make things easier either, he was in trouble all the time and at my worst state he would make things even more harder for me. I started to feel rejected by my own son also. I remember being very angry at God and screaming out why?? Donít you love me?


                          The only light I had was my friend Grace. God Bless Her and I feel blessed that God brought her to me. Her knowledge and her Chinese Energetic Medicine Healing helped me come from the dark to the light.

                          My life started to change so much. It took a year and three months of corrections to get where I'm at now. With the power of God's Love and Light Grace energetically corrected my thought s and feelings about me, the outside world and even my thoughts about God.

                          She removed layers upon layers of lies I planted in my head and planted new thoughts of Love and Gratitude. Everything made sense now everything I read about and everything that happened to me in the spirit world made sense now. The laws of Attraction actually helped me understand Jesus, God, and the Bible.

                          Now I knew I wasnít cursed and that actually I had power within to change my world. It wasnít easy a lot of times I said this **** doesnít work and gave up but the seed of hope was already planted in me and it didnít allow me to stay in defeat.


                          I notice how everything around me I attract to myself, the bad and the good. I did this without knowing because I didnít have the knowledge and awareness yet that I was choosing to suffer and not live in Gratitude.
                          It wasnít easy to feel gratitude when a lot of junk was happening, and my outside world was working against me every time, but Grace kept working on me and little by little I started to change. I started to have more faith in the unseen and more Gratitude.

                          I started practicing feeling good and using positive affirmations and share it on facebook. It helped me to start building myself from the ground up. I love to share what Iíve learned Spiritually and Energetically. It feels Good to feel Good and you just want to share it with others because it's just so awesome. We are all one and we are all Love Energy, being connected to Grace helped me be more connected with my true self and most importantly to love myself. That was the problem from the beginning I didnít love myself and I didnít have enough faith.

                          Iím not fully enlightened yet, and I still need some areas to work on, but I'm getting there and I hope to inspire others through my story. I came from being a victim to a Victor! And I hope those that suffer from depression or anxiety to know that there is hope for you. You are not cursed. You are Love Energy!!

                          Yari.. thank you sooooo much for this post!!! I can relate soo much to what you have said here except that i don't have children and haven't been married. i have not been molested but i think i learned early on, very unhealthy ways of relating sexually, and emotionally.
                          i have always wanted a healthy relationship.. and its been one of my dreams too. I never thought i was good enough... in many ways i didn't try... but i did try to get love. that seemed most important to me. but i would always always get triggered by this that reminded me of childhood stuff. i guess i've felt i have no control over it. i would love to find the way to change my beliefs about relationships, and i feel i have tried and not succeeded. i'm trying to learn better to take care of myself.. and do things that will hopefully make me feel better about myself.

                          well anyway.. you post is very encouraging and brave.
                          thank you so much!!!
                          love heat

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                          • You Made My Day Georgia

                            HI Georgia,

                            When I posted my story I was very inspired and yet afraid. Grace being the mother eagle encouraged me to fly. I knew that we both had something that connected us but I just didn't know what and now it's known. I want you to know how much you are loved. I know how you feel and what you're going thru.


                            I want you to know that now is the time to clean out your closet. I had alot of junk in my closet. Meaning inside of me I had a place where I kept all my memories of abuse and abandonment. I manifested more like circumstances of being abused and abandoned. I wasn't attracting the right person to come into my life. I kept attracting the same thing over and over, which lead me to believe the biggest LIES ever. "I'm not Good enough" "I am Cursed" "I am Ugly" "I'm worthless" "Damaged" I was damaging my Body temple by feeding into those lies.

                            Grace helps me so much and over and over she kept reminding me how powerful I am. I want you to know that you are Powerful too. See yourself already cleaning out everything that no longer serves your higher purpose. I got over the bad memories by using visualization. The memories would make my body feel so violated I felt so dirty I would shower and try to scrub the pain away.

                            I can't watch movies that have things of that nature because my body remembers. Then I figured out that it was the images I had in mind that was triggering these feelings and adding more feelings of being damaged. So I started to visualize myself as a child and Me telling her "You did nothing wrong and I'm sorry that it happened and I'm here to protect you Because "I love you " and I would hug her.

                            Start to heal and love your inner child and you will see how it heals your body from those memories. Add positive affirmations to your daily life and you will see that it does work. Don't give up on yourself because you are too expensive to waste away. We are all One! You and Me and everyone that connects with the One (Love) Be encouraged!

                            Within You are Treasures of Diamonds and Gold
                            You are loved and you are Perfect

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                            • My Affirmation and Prayer for Tonite!

                              I want peace to be the center of my being that my past thinking no longer influence me. I will create a new life for me and the kids and I shall do it with great Faith in God. God is my Provider God has me and love one in his hands. I shall believe in trust that the Lord is my Savior. My thoughts are pure and my heart is Love. I allow Love energy to dwell thru me and around me. I am grateful for this moment, this moment is my place my serenity. I grateful for my family and friends.. I am grateful for the bad and the good. Iíll a create a better right now and a better tomorrow. I ask now for God to release my guardian angels to accompany me all the time, more now than ever before. Thank You God for it is you who is my Rock!
                              Last edited by yari; 05-27-2010, 01:37 PM.

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                              • Yari!

                                Thank you so much for that!! Beautifully expressed and written!! I cried when I read that, it was like a release for me.

                                I resonated with this. You are sooo strong!!! I admire you, keep on inspiring me!! XOXOXOX!!!!

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