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CitizenDC
03-24-2009, 07:00 PM
Hi Guys,

I'm in an interesting situation that I'd like some advice on.

I've attracted an experience where I share an asset with a business partner. Each of us is expected to make part payments on this asset. My biz partner for some time has not been able to make these payments and has provided many excuses. I believed these excuses to be true as they made sense at the time.
Since then I've done some looking into these excuses and realised that they where all very cleverly designed lies.
I've confronted this person about these lies and was met with more very cleverly designed stories.

After all this, I've realised that this person likely believes all these stories to be true. I've spoken with others who have done business with this person and they wanted no further contact.

Initially when I discovered all this I was quite angry. Well "quite" is'nt near the amount of hate and anger I was feeling but lets say I was quite p*ssed off.
After working through that and thinking about this persons behavior with myself and others, and how it was isolating them from the world I begun to pity them. Along with that any hate or anger I had left has diminished within me.

I'm now taking steps to take legal action against this person to secure the asset in my name. What I'm contemplating is how to approach this person and state this gently. I can easily go the screw-you approach and thats the end of it, however I now see this person much like a child who tells lies to protect itself. Anyways, thats for me to work out.

I'd like to gain more insight into this persons behavior.
What I'd like to know is if you have had an experience dealing with someone who believes their own lies or compulsively lies, where you think this stems from and how you dealt with them.

:cheers:

wpage
03-24-2009, 11:39 PM
Experience has shown that best practice is to be honest and forthright when dealing in these issues. Many time you will be able to work it out...

If it comes to shove. There is no misunderstanding and grudge on the part of the other party. You have already given them every oppurtunity to do the right thing. A few suggestions...

Meet face to face for the heart to heart final discussion.

Have your ducks in a row so to speak as far as your requirements.

Be fair. If you do wind up going to court. It will wind up being settled by lawyers in the hallway. You will settle for less and have all the gyrations to go thru:cheers:

Good luck!

BinzerBob
04-05-2009, 11:01 PM
You know when I was growing up there was a neighbor who moved into nextdoor to me who was in my grade... many years ago grade 7. I made friends with him very fast. But then very soon into the friendship I noticed that the person would lie. Lie about everything, for no reason. Very very odd.

I don't know why some people do this. For sure you can not trust those people at all about anything, and it is much safer for yourself to stay away from them.

It is sad for them, maybe it is a form of mental sickness? But overall, you have to protect yourself.

I would imagine it is similar to a compulsive gambler who starts to lie and steel... I seen people go through that too, and that is very sad and disappointing and also damaging to everyone.

Hope you are out of your situation by now.

Doug
04-06-2009, 10:36 PM
Hey there Citizen,

Have you thanked him yet? The situation didn't show up by chance and I'm sure you know that. wpage is right, a sit down - heart to heart would help. I'm glad you've forgiven your partner (assuming that since the anger has gone away).
This may sound radical to you but following the Ho 'oponopono philosophy where Dr. Zen at a hospital worked on the patients only buy working on himself! He didn't do mantra with them or really have contact directly with 'em. He instead stated four phrases, "Thank You, I Love You, I'm Sorry, Please Forgive Me." He did this with the files in hand of each patient and in time they got better! Since he was in the surroundings of the patients - he was part of it and responsible. By working on you changes your world around you! I've seen some amazing things from reading "Zero Limits" and cranked that up a notch or two with the (and I would visit)--> Ho 'Oponopono Paths Module (http://www.pathsworksnow.com/products_show/72/Hooponopono_Healing.html). This even changed an ex-girlfriend for the better which blew me away -- It works :thumbsup:

Now, I'm not insinuating you're a liar or a bum :suprise: ;) and that's why this stuff happened to you, but it will help you learn more about yourself - maybe it's trust issues, I'm not sure and that's okay. The Zero Limits is a good read to get started but the Paths module would be the icing on the cake. Saying the four phrases frequently to yourself or out loud in your privacy or on a bike ride, like I've done, works great. You'll get a better feeling and you'll influence you surroundings.


I just saw these posts today, but if there's time for you to do the above - I know it will change things.

I wish you the best,
Doug

musingmus
04-07-2009, 12:18 AM
Hi Doug

i was wondering how one really uses Ho'oponopono?
do they just repeat "i love you, please forgive me, im sorry, thank you over and over?
when you do say it, do you think about a situation you were in?

i actually was on this theater for a couple weeks, but didnt seem to get any effects on it. i read alot about it, and even attempted to get the book.

id just like to hear what others have to say. Im up for anything to help heal pain thats in my life. anything.

thanks
OH and i sent you a PM, did you get it?

Doug
04-07-2009, 03:31 AM
Musingmus,
For Ho' it helped me get from 75% capacity for happiness/wellness to the top. There were still some things to work on to be on an even keel. I thought of the other person some of the time, but knew that I was the one needing the work. I was thinking of the Universe when saying the 4 phrases. I kept the "sorry" as just sorry, not sorry for this and that and that also. Same on "please forgive me" That just maintains the "problem" slowing down the growth and a new way of thinking. Old habits can be a challenge - the ego doesn't like change. Also, the ego has been trained from past experiences in a sense to blame, blame and you know what the third one is... ;) This is a challenge, our parents have done it and some of our friends do it all the time. Just some minor environmental influences!:D Your growth is to forgive & rise above all that gibberish, ignore it and be captain of your own ship.
Remember, "It's not our fault, it's our responsibility!" A few weeks on Ho' isn't enough time -- some programs depending on the person can take 2-3 months. We're human, hang in there! :v-peace: Patience is a virtue!!!!

I guarantee between reading Ho' and the Paths Module, it will make it better for you. But better doesn't mean perfect. A number of other things to assist you in your learning opportunity can be done, but give yourself some time here.

I wish you the best,
Doug