Hi Zartgirl,
First of all I want you to know that you are among a wonderful group of people here who will continually lift you up in their thoughts, prayers and intentions as you move into the next phase of your life.
I am certainly no expert here, but I would suggest you focus on what makes you feel good - it may be spending your free moments with your art - sketching, spending time in nature, or hugging and being grateful for you children and the decision you have made to care for yourself and them.
Regardless of what is happening with your stbx and your relationship and inspite of conversation at the shelter - know that we are keeping you lifted up.
Focus on your end result and know that it is all good and you will get there in perfect timing. Also remember you get what you focus on whether you want it or not - so your only work here is to focus on what makes you feel good - even if it is a bird song outside the window.
Listen to uplifting music, come visit the forums and keep posting.
Love and Light,
Maggie