Heard on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

• President Obama spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast. The president said that his Christian faith is the driving force behind his economic policies. So I guess instead of blaming Bush, it's now all Jesus’ fault.
• Obama said that he says a brief prayer every morning, but then Joe Biden shows up anyway. So I don't know if it would really work.
• Mitt Romney is taking a lot of heat for saying he's not concerned with the very poor. I don't think he helped himself, either. Like today he says he does care about the homeless — especially the summer home-less.
• The House of Representatives has passed a bill that prohibits people from using welfare money in strip clubs or liquor stores. I agree with that. Strip clubs and liquor stores should be off limits for people who get government funds — you know, like congressmen.

Heard on the Late Show With David Letterman

• Sad news for Mitt Romney. He drove out of Florida with a live gator strapped to the roof of his car.

Heard on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

• The Super Bowl halftime show is one the most amazing feats of engineering. The crew has less than 20 minutes to deploy a complex system of rigging, cranes, and pulleys. And once they get Madonna in her corset, they have to put up the stage.