This is silly, I wrote an epic post a bit ago and then erased it all cuz I thought I was going overboard, Ive been Identifying with alot on this thread.

I do want to say I am really touched an amazed at the love and dedication and support in this thread. Grace, your kindness, strength, wisdom and pure giving heart has made my eyes get all misty while reading your responses. I think its because I am seeing in you a reflection of who I wish myself to be someday. I am 1/2 way through the busting loose book and in a preschool sort of way can see you all as me and my creation. And what a beautiful creation. Mindboggeling as it is.

I want to thank Sally Jane, Jan, and Kim for your honesty and willlingnes to be that open and vulnerable here in asking for help. I have only been reading this thread a few days but been on PATHS for a year now too. I have been very wary of asking for help. Your courage I think is rubbing off on me-as i am posting...So I guess really your courage is my courage.

I have in my past climbed out of homelessness and had my tour of duty in and out of shelters and i guess I am still in the rebuilding process- that just hit me. Being kinder and gentler to myself is a big one. I also have lived with immense shame around sex and sexuality. I heard my state once described as sexual annorexia- as I have not let myself have a deep and true love relationship yet in my life ...and very little sex as it and the intimacy scares me on some unconcious level. I keep thinking I want to experience love and the joy of sharing my life with another. And after a year of PATHS I worry that I am in need of the remedial learning PATHS programs. For my dedication in watching and trust I do think I should have sssoooo much more to show for it. But all you describe reading/studying ect Kim, SJ and Jan I realize I am in small pototoe land as far as what I have invested. I honor and respect your dedication to you self and your growth and the service you offer to others!

I need to get going but I have some questions and requests for corrections/transformations from Grace and any here. For starters I just wanted to say mee too please for all the collective corrections on soo many issues that I feel and experience also.

will hopefully get back here soon. Thanks for all your love in here. Its better than chocolate.

Blake