Dear Grace,

As You know I work in the week-ends (and on holidays) as a nurse in our children’s hospital.
From Monday till Friday I am busy with my training to become a MD. So there is no much time for relaxation or to recover from work.
When I had a full time job as a nurse I was often so exhausted after my shifts that I could not enjoy my spare time and often lay down on bed to recover and prepare myself for the next shifts.
I had this weekend three very busy shifts; working with very sick children with cancer who (and their parents) need a lot of care and attention. I was so exhausted when I became home that I felt sick of being so tired. I could not sleep while my head was spinning round (and in my dreams I was still busy as a nurse). In my body I feel than al kind of unpleasant sensations as if negative energy is trapped within my energy field and my body. Those feelings and sensations of being exhausted, tensed and stressed are unfortunately very familiar for me. Maybe it is caused by all the negative feelings in my environment I try to transform on a subconscious/spiritual level but I think there are also other causes that makes me so exhausted and feeling so strange in my head and body. I know there are feelings of failure or anxiety not to make mistakes or giving not the proper or afraid to receive criticism by doing the job not good enough or wanting to do everything perfect and give everybody the care and attention they need within too less time and possibilities.
If anything endangers my training to become a MD is this exhaustion which makes that I can not think clear, have difficulties with memorization and comprehension of the medical knowledge, not have the enthusiasm to learn or study or have the energy and motivation to succeed with my training and education to become a MD. OK the money issue can also endanger to become a MD but I think the exhaustion, lack of energy and not able to fully recover after a busy day brings my training and education to become a MD in serious danger. So I need to find a solution for this problem. I know Grace You already started to work on my health situation and hope to receive help for this major problem too.

Dear Grace and Zartgirl I tried to place tow artworks of me within this post but I did not succeeded. Can You tell me how I can post jpg pics of two of my artworks on this Thread?

Greetings from Holland to all the members of the CEM Thread,
Jan