Very glad you discovered this awesome forum! What you will soon find is you also discovered some really cool people that are even more awesome!

About the question...

I am an artist, and that is what I have been since I was a small child. Once the adults in my life saw my ability, I was then put on the artist track. By the age of 12 I was studying as an adult under a professional artist, then there was the renouned Caligrapher who I trained under, and adult photography classes, and and and... Through all of that what I loved most was when I was alone with my art supplies, where I could escape to my special world. It was my safe place where I could create anything I wanted to! This is where creativity had no limits, and nobody could tell me how I was supposed to do it. Now don't get me wrong looking back I appreciate the hours spent working on the fundamentals like putting one perfect circle over the first not deviating from the first at all, and then putting ten, twenty, and so on... on top of those. Those hours spent although at the time were monotonous are building blocks that I depend upon now, but still the best times to me is when I can sit in silence and listen to the music of God and create!

So as you are probably figuring out that God has always been an integral part of my being. As an adult I wandered into a church (nothing like what you probably experienced in the Catholic church). This was a Pentecostal Church that Worshiped God by dancing in the isles and singing music that was closer to rock than gospel music. It was a natural fit for me. The prayer services where they laid hands on people, and people would get healed. On a number of occasions I was prayed over and hands laid on me and I went down to the floor (slain in the spirit is what it is called) There I laid on the floor and laughed till I cried (they call it getting drunk in the spirit, trust me much better than any alcohol drunk).

Although I loved God, I found myself later struggling with the church as a whole (not necessarily that first church)... The problem was that their views on marriage did not allow for me an escape from a toxic marriage. The marriage vows I took were more important to the Church than my life! I slowly started to walk away... It was during this time that I started reading books and eventually found my way here, and discovered the science part... Although I am not sure I understand it all, but I do know that for the first time in years I feel safe (I am no longer in the marriage), I have joy in my life (although I am living in temporary housing and starting all over again), I have started to connect again to that special place where as a kid I would escape to (I am drawing and painting again and have a new passion for life).

So how does science and spirituality mix for me? I would say it just confirms what I have known since I was a child. By the way, I was not raised in the church. My parents did not go to church. God was someone I just knew! He was my special place I escaped to. Now I am learning that He is the stuff between my physical matter and I don't have to run to that special place it is always with me, although I still love to work in silence listening to the music of God.

Love and Gratitude
zartgirl Sj